AFTERGLOW.| CYJ

38

Heeseung is on the guest judge panel on the third round of trainee evaluations. (he is forced to)

He had no particular interest in judging trainees, rather was just filling in for his best friend who was bed ridden. He was not completely uninterested and was vocal about it, his nuances were conveying it but he was being as polite and respectful as possible. For him, his debut was not something he cherished at most in his lifetime, sure, he loved performing on stage—he was the epitome of a perfect all rounded idol but the moments he spent gearing up for the process outnumbered the moments he recalled having a good time. Now, he lives in the present, smiles sometimes but it fades quicker at the rate of doubting himself.

If there is someone he is afraid to lose and lives in that constant fear, it's his best friend. It's not love. It's not an obsession. He feels a deeper connection with her as a vampire. He sees resilience in her in thousand folds, which is not just impressive, but also a significant attribute of a vampire. He sees a possibility of her becoming one of them, but he also doesn't want this vision come true.

It's frustrating. It'a frustrating to be with her. The constant fear of losing her hinders him. He understands Yeonjun's frustration, and no, he isn't defending him saying what he did was the right thing. It was clearly wrong and he did that despite knowing his girlfriend was abused in the past. But Heeseung could stand by his frustration. It would have been harder for Yeonjun to accept that losing her to an illness meant losing her to death. The end. He doesn't know, how many people are looking forward to her death, but he's looking forward to her birth, a new beginning.

On returning home, he's completely shut down. His loud voice isn't echoing through the duplex unit. He's quiet. Like he was before becoming a vampire. He rarely kept quiet after that. He was open about talking how he survived death, he swore a lot because the world he was reborn in was fucked up, found love some time ago and withdrew from it because there was commitment. He was fighting for it and he didn't want to go after something that wasn't meant for him. He never even tried to love after that. Maybe a couple of times, but he hated it. He hated love. He liked affection but swore in the name of love.

He tries to even smoke the feeling away, but without his best friend beside him and her lovely chatters ringing in his ears, everything felt void. It was at this time that he realised how much she meant to him, even if the whole world was against him. His world was very small—his group, Leta and his best friend. That's it. He had no more room for anyone else.

He silently walks to Sunghoon's room. He turns the lights on briefly to check inside. He hears Joohyun coughing. Sunghoon is curled behind Joohyun, spooning her in sleep. They're bonded by the scent of her blood. He has a possessive grip over her, his arm around her shoulder brushing past her breasts, his other wraps around her belly guarding her glucose monitor. She felt more tired than usual. Her body pain hadn't ceased fully, but she was recovering faster than expected. Heeseung approaches them slowly after switching the lights off, the darkness returning like it was returning to his life at the moment.

"Heeseung", Joohyun calls groggily, coughing afterwards.

She's not fully asleep, but is struggling because of sinus. It would be an exaggeration to say that her voice had never sounded sweeter before, but at this moment, right now as his ears are ringing with her voice, it's the dearest thing to him. He kneels down to take her hand into his. He presses his lips on her palm gently pulling out with a smooch, her chuckles weaving into the melody of affection.

He gently lifts the duvet cover to slide next to her on the bed. Sunghoon's bed was enough to hold three people in, but he chooses to lay uncomfortably on the edge of the mattress at a considerable distance from her. Joohyun chuckles as her hand slides up his inner shirt, she grasps it and pulls him closer to make him utilize the space between them. He lays on his folded arm, feeling confused about the whole thing. But her gesture does evoke something in him.