AFTERGLOW |CYJ

40

"Can I get one of these please?", Heeseung asks the receptionist with a bright smile. He's at the LP store picking up Mr. Ahn Dong's album for his best friend. It had been over two weeks since he had met her, his schedules and a few events in the past had seperated them. It was his second longest that he had ever been without talking to her. Joohyun occasionally met Sunghoon, but found solace in solo company.

He drives over to Joohyun's apartment, the one he teased, the one he spent most of his time smiling. He gets down with a bouquet of flowers and Ahn dong's album in his other. The Koi fish pond in the veranda was frozen. The fishes were sent to an aquarium. The garden had dried out, leaves expired and peeling off from their parent plants as the winds whistled past by. Winter had arrived. It was December and also, Joohyun's birth month.

It is her birthday today, but he sees her wearing a mourning dress. She steps out of the elevator as Heeseung waits in front of her apartment door. She is flustered upon seeing him there, her expressions weren't showing the range of emotions she felt upon seeing him there but she walks past him with a quick and brief "Hi". Her hand shows impatience as she unlocks the front door. He crouches down to place the humongous bouquet on the floor and stands up to gently lift her hands on to his hips.

He has a contagious smile, but the intensity not doesn't reach her at all. She rather looks confused, sadness had infested her face to the point that her cheeks had lost all fat and now appeared flat. He doesn't know if women at 26 were supposed to have skin wrinkling—she doesn't have them yet, but he mistakes her smile lines to be one of them. Her under eyes were red, not sure if that was makeup or not. She had cut her hair even shorter—a bob cut. The way her hair hugged her made her look even more charming and cute.

"What happened?", he asks, glancing at her mourning dress.

"Jihu's mother passed away, so I went over. Yeah.", she explains, but her explanations had become shorter. She sighs before letting her hands fall and turns around to push the door inside.

"Wait", he gently pulls her hands back, chuckling at her impatience.

"You forgot what day it is today?", he steps forward, slowly pinning her against the door of her apartment. She moves her chin down as he brings his lips over her earlobe, "Happy birthday, wifey", he murmurs, she shuts her eyes close feeling his lips flap over ear. Intimacy was fading away from her life, and a small but the significant taste of it sent shivers down her spine. He delicately only scoops up her upper lip allowing her to breath. His lip brushes past her lower lip like butter knife inviting her in.

Joohyun attempts to speak but her lips are gently embraced by him. For a moment, the slipperiness of his lips baits her as he continues kissing her sloppily. Her voice trembles as he tilts his head to the other side, she considers giving in twice..thrice. The fourth time, the moment before his lips depart from hers, she gives in, completing the kiss with wet, lips bejeweled with saliva.

The moment she pulls out, guilt raids over like a plague. She wanted someone else to be her first kiss after turning 26.

She brushes it off quickly before turning back to face the door, Heeseung chuckles standing up as he holds her back from escaping again. It was almost as though he were taming a hyperactive toddler. 

It was then she realized that it was her birthday. She even blatantly assumed there were two months still left, but time had passed without her realizing it. She declared to not celebrate her birthday this year, but the first and the only person to greet her is her best friend. Her fans could have wished her, if they still liked her but she hadn't had the time to look through her phone. Yeonjun was overseas, and had perhaps forgotten about it too, Sunghoon hadn't since she didn't sound enthusiastic about it when he brought it up a few days ago—but he sent a text that read:

Sunghoonè

Heyy, sorry lovee. I didn't wish you today because you said you didn't want to be wished, but happy birthdayyy sweetheart♡♡♡♡ you're the best lover i could ever get.

And Joohyun hadn't seen it yet since she was at the funeral house the entire morning. It was too rude to not accept the flower bouquet that he hands her, his shirt and the bloomed yellow roses twin conveying her birthday wish as well Heeseung hinting that he wanted to get back to being friends with her. She accepts the bouquet trying not to give into the serenity of the roses or accidentally pierce her finger into the thorns. She had just recovered from all the blows people gave her without a warning and warming up to these infatuations meant she would have to go through it again. She turns around to push the door inside.

"Calm downnn, wifey", Heeseung holds the doorknob from outside preventing her from walking in. She knows that it's too painful to give in to those adorable doe eyes, his wide smile returning like it used to when he used to tease her. She has nearly even forgotten how he looked. The picture of his face was erased from her memories through the period of separation.

"Are you cold? Do you want me to give you your gift inside?", he asks as he gently caresses her cheek. She desperately wanted to say it was cold, but his lips make her reconsider.

"No. Give it to me here", she tells him calmly lowering her gaze. She wasn't even expecting him to come wish her, but he turned up with a flower bouquet and a gift. It warmed her. Her lower lip was trembling as she attempts to speak, it was as though her voice was returning to her after a long exile.

"Here", he raises up to hand Ahn dong's album music album to her. Her face lights up for a smile but quickly dies down as she reminds herself not to smile.

"Thanks", she says, her lips pressed together for a somewhat smile. But her eyes fill with tears and her breath shakes as she tries to hold back.  She didn't want to cry in front of him. He didn't like it. Her eyes burn red, but she quickly pulls up her long sleeves to wipe her tears before it makes him mad. She accepts the album after gathering herself.

Heeseung doesn't remember experiencing pain when he was rotting on his deathbed alone, but he sees it now, in the way she hides how she feels. Pain wasn't just a physical attribute; it was a mental warfare. It was convincing someone that their smile doesn't matter and them losing it forever.

He reaches for hands as she turns her gaze towards him while she adores the album. His feet move forward in small increments as he takes her into his embrace. Her tense expressions melt down in confusion as she rests her chin over his shoulder. She processes the hug very slowly, in fact the affection not penetrating through the thick skin she had developed over the past few weeks. It was difficult to comprehend his intentions without words, but he only embraced her softly, passionately, tightly, cohesively as long as he could.

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