AFTERGLOW.| CYJ

41

Joohyun opens the door, and there he is—Yeonjun, standing with a box of canelès, his expression a mix of surprise and hesitation. For a moment, she feels the familiar hum of voices returning in her mind, the armor she built up threatening to soften. Tugging at the doorknob, she contemplates, just for a second, letting him back into her life. When their eyes meet, the numbness she clung to begins to fade, replaced by a warmth she thought she'd buried.

Yeonjun competes with her gaze. He was a little awkward, but he admired his girlfriend's patience. She looked calm and composed, despite the storm inside her. She tries to ground herself as much as possible, her breath quickens but she doesn't let her emotions crumble. She holds the door open for him to walk in, he breaks his gaze and walks in, ending their long duel.

"I got us some fried chicken", he holds the plastic bag open.
He missed her birthday and was compensating for it. She didn't know what she hated more, him bringing her chicken or him using the word us. Both of them were equally devastating.

The reason she stopped talking to him ever since the incident was because it made her think of home, it triggered her trauma. But she was more mature now, 26, rocking a crop top with abdomen exposed and flaunting her new glucose monitor. And he stood in front of her, his red hair dye fading underneath his beanie, thick willed, handsome as ever.

She accepts the bag of fried chicken. It reminded her of the times he would bring home food after work and share it with the rest at the dorm. He held the box of canelès very dearly, but it was indeed for her since couldn't eat cake with frosting. He brought a few since she couldn't eat cakes with frostings.

She couldn't tell if it was the lack of interactions or the abundance of self reflection that made her want to get back to him again. It felt more rigid than compared to Heeseung, even though he hurt her more through his words. She tries her best to ground herself to moment as much as possible , as long as his presence starts to comfort her.

Joohyun doesn't like feeling this way. She wanted to go back to being unnoticed and not cared for. During her separation, she hadn't spoken a word with him for days. Everyday felt more peaceful than the other, but since he interacted with her, she got dragged into the never ending spiral of self hatred and misery.

She goes to her room after placing the chicken on the table. She lays on her head for a moment and practices breathing naturally to help her release whatever she was holding inside. She swings her legs back on the floor and heads to the bathroom to resume cleaning.

Yeonjun gets curious about his girlfriend's absence and begins looking for her, he glances at the living room once before heading to the bedroom. He goes over to the bathroom. The door was left open, he didn't want to peek but he was sure that she wasn't using it to pee, and took a peek in. He finds her crouching on the bathroom floor with scrubbing a shoe with a toothbrush in her hand.

Joohyun turns back, elevating from her effortless squat as she  turns to look at him.

"What are you doing?", he asks as he walks in curiously, scanning her and the shoe that hangs from her fingers. 

"I went paintballing with Sunghoon and I stained my shoes", she explains as transfers the shoe to her other hand. She moves her eyes on her shoes, the pair that she never gave up since her debut. It was the dearest thing for her and getting it stained not just made her realize her love for them but also helped her rinse it once in a while. It turned out to be as good as new after a quick wash, Joohyun was afraid to put it in the dryer since there was a risk of the material tearing.

Yeonjun walks forward to take a sit on the edge of the tub, his hands resting over the edge as he watches her crouch down to continue scrubbing. The shoes were oddly familiar to him. She could have gotten new shoes but resorted to using the old pair till the end. It reminds him of his mother and how she continued using almost a decade old samsung , he insisted on buying her the latest model and his mom agreed to, but soon reconsidered when she saw the price. Yeonjun laughed and told her that the price didn't matter, but  her attention shifted to jewellary. He didn't understand moms and their love for jewelry, but if it made her happy, he was happy. He smiles to himself as he watches his girlfriend.