chance

chapter 12

6 o'clock rolls around much too quickly. I feel anxiety rippling through my body, tingling with electricity. What will she say? What will she do? What will I do?
I guess we'll just have to find out as a soft knock echos through my apartment. I lurch forward, my body brutally removed from the safety of my red sofa. I ambled across the living room, past the kitchen, finally reaching the handle to my front door. Hearing the click and letting the handle open, I see only her eyes.
A deep, glassy turquoise reaches my own, strangling my thoughts and making me weak. I'm hopeless under her stare.
"Hello" she utters, barely above a whisper.
"Hello" I say matching her tone. I shut the door behind her, letting her look at the eden that is my apartment.
"So I thought we should talk."
"Same here"
"I just don't want thing to be awkward, especially as we'll be sharing a tour bus in two weeks."
"I just want to be friends again. Here, let's sit." I point towards the sofa, inviting her to sit opposite me. She sits carefully looking uncomfortable.
"Would you like anything to drink?" I ask.
"I'll be alright thank you. So how do we sort this?" She looks at me with an unreadable expression, maybe hurt or thoughtful,I can't tell.
"I mean I'm not sure, we should definitely try to hang out a lot before the tour, we need to get used to being in each other's presence as friends."
"As friends?" She mutters under her breath, barely distinguishable.
"Huh?" I ask pretending not to hear.
"Nothing"
We spend the next couple hours ignoring the elephant in the room, chatting, sharing awkward silences but letting the finality of the unfamiliar feeling of just friends rest over ourselves.  She leaves three hours later, promising to meet up again before the tour. That, I doubt.

The following day was spent in and out of meetings and the recording studio, Matt pushed the early release of my first single, the one I wrote about my ex best friend. The release was bittersweet, just me and Holly over a single glass of red wine in our cosy apartment. Most my friends sent a little congratulations text to me, but one was missing. As the lights dimmed, Holly and I set down our glasses and cooked a ramen together, letting jazz fill the kitchen. We talked about stupid old high school gossip, petty I know, but so was the song. Our minds wondered, questioning where they all were now, so over dinner we dove through instagram. Looking at old friends, old enemies and old exs, it was such a light, silly moment. We laughed, we bitched, but most of all, I was distracted.
In bed later, I check some earlier texts. The last thing I do before bed is continue to conversation with the diner girl, Addison.
I spent the week holed up in more meetings about the tour and about music. The orange light of the recording studio became my new daylight, often sleeping there after a long recording session. Sometimes finneas joined me, other times not. His mood hadn't improved since the last time I saw him. It was like every time it got quiet, he wanted to say something, but he never did. I totally understand why, yes he and I are friends, but we've only known each other a couple months. He has to protect his sister. However, he's bound to the studio, helping me and Billie whenever we need. I found out he makes his own music too, in fact he's been working on an album, but the studio haven't been wanting him to release as he's such a talented producer. Holly joined me for a couple lunches, providing me a second of normalcy, almost like a peek into the past. Despite this, I was mostly alone in the labels building, I often found myself wondering the hall, looking at the pictures on the walls, helping myself to food from the hall or people watching the streets of LA. Sad I know but it was lonely navigating this new life. Addison promised to meet me on Saturday, so I continued to write, and write and talk to Matt, then record. It was mundane.

"Hey you." Addison says shyly.
She's wearing a floral maxi skirt and a little white tank, her golden hair blowing in the light spring breeze.
"Hey to you too." I smile, taking her into a short hug.
"So I thought we could, grab coffees at this cafe my friend recommended, then walk along the beach, I mean only if you want to?" She says sweetly.
"Of course, sounds cool."
We briefly introduce ourselves: what we do, where we live, etc. Making into the cafe, it has a super cool, hipster vibe, that's when you know the coffees about to be good. There's plants in every corner and shelf, with exposed brickwork and pipes everywhere, it was a very aesthetic place.
"What do you think you're going to get?"
"Umm probably just an oat milk latte." I respond.
"Hi can I get two oat milk lattes to take away?" She says to the bearded man.
"No wait let me get those." I argue.
"Don't be silly, I'm the one who asked you out, and besides it just a coffee." She winks.
"I'll get you back at some point." I flirt as she hands me my coffee.
"Oh you better." Her eyes wondering down my face.
Breaking the moment, we begin walking down the beach continuing chatting and talking about our weeks. The day is bright and warm, the sun whitens the bright sand beneath our feet.She's really down to Earth and a great listener.
"Umm this might be embarrassing to admit but whatever, I listened to your new song." She blushed.
"Uh huh." I say, "and what did you think?" Looking deeply into her eyes, letting myself be openly very flirty.
"I loved it, your voice is beautiful." She says smiling shyly, meeting my intense stare.
"I'm glad to hear that." I say slowly, looking at her lips.
Her brown eyes look down, and our bodies slowly inch towards each other, hands finding each others waists, slowly bringing our heads together. Just as my eyes close, I feel her lips on mine. Pressed softly against one another, we stay like this for a moment. Pulling away we both giggle.
"You know the suns starting to set?" I say between giggles.
"Been here that long have we?" She smiles, beginning to sit down in the sand.
I join her, enveloping my hand in hers. "I guess so."
We sit for a moment silently, watching the colours bleed into one another on the horizon. It's difficult to see where the purple ends and the pink begins. She lays her head on my shoulder until the colours have darkened and shadows streak across the once white sand.
"I'm not ready to leave you yet." She says boldly, "come back to mine?"
For a moment, I hesitate. Billies face flashes before my eyes, but I know that Addison is a fresh start for me and I should just probably enjoy the night, besides billies probably got Jesse in her bed at this very moment.
"Ok, show me the way."
She takes my hand and leads me off the beach, back to her apartment.

I wake tangled in a body and white sheets. As I stir, I feel Addison smile into my chest.
"Morning, do you want breakfast?"
"I could go for breakfast."
I reach for my phone as she's throwing a t shirt over her naked form. My screen reads 10:52, and a 911 text from Matt.
"Shit." I say, causing her to turn in the door frame.
"What's up? Anything wrong?" Her face concerned.
"I've got to get to the studio now, sorry I'm going to have to take a rain check on breakfast." I say as I begin putting my clothes back on, searching around the room.
"Oh."
"I'll call you." I say as I hurry around the room, eventually finding my bra halfway across her minimalistic room.
She shows me to the door, disappointment inching across her face, I give a brief kiss.

After finding my way to the studio from Addison's, I take the stairs for once. I listen to the rhythmic plod of my feet against the concrete, and think. Do I like this girl? Am I just mad at Billie? What could Matt need me this badly for on a Sunday? As I reach the third floor, I hear bedlam.  For whatever reason everyone is running around like a headless chicken.
"Good you're finally here! Go to the meeting room." Matt instructs, his normally calm brown eyes full of chaos.
I make my way down the corridor, checking my reflection in the glass. Shit I really should have made more of an effort before coming here, I mean it wouldn't take Sherlock Holmes to figure out I didn't stay at mine last night. Walking into the room my eyes meet Claudia, finneas and Billie in deep conversation.
"Hey Bella." Claudia cheers brightly, "what took you so long?"
"Umm...traffic." I lie.
Billie finally meets my eye as I join their circle. I feel her eyes raking my body, can she tell what I did?
"Right, so, now that you're all here. The second venue you guys were meant to be playing at has pulled out."
"What?!" We all say in unison.
"Yep we're currently all on the phone trying to A convince them to let you guys play or B suggest somewhere that can accommodate. Fans have already bought tickets, we can't disappoint."
"Is anywhere available at such short notice?" Fin asks.
"Definitely not, but otherwise we're going to have to refund the tickets as soon as possible. I mean the only place they've offered is too small for the numbers we have."
"Shit what the fuck are we going to do?" Billie asks, sounding a little pissed off. I watch as her head jolts to the side in a tic.
"Look, I don't want you guys to panic, I'm just keeping you updated." Matt assures, but I see billies anxiety rising.
The hours tick by, no solution seems to be found. Holly visits, bring us all food, Taco Bell to make Billie happy. It's nice to see that Billie and I's problems haven't effected everyone else. It actually felt totally normal sat with everyone, like nothing had ever happened. Holly leaves for her shift at the hospital, leaving the four of us in the meeting room. Just when all hope is lost, an intern that couldn't be older than 20 approaches Matt.
"Hey I know it's a stupid idea, it probably won't wor-"
"Spit it out kid." Matt responds harshly.
"Well, my old high school is a 5 minute walk from the original venue. They do events, and can hold the capacity required, it's an idea?" He says, pushing his glasses up his long nose.
"We'll look into it." Matt says simply, "you lot should head off, it's been a long day."
We each take in turns giving him a hug, I watch as the creases on his forehead slowly unravel, allowing his youthful face to shine back through the layers of stress.
Fin and Claudia lead us out the room, offering their house as somewhere to unwind tonight.
Billie and I agree, following them out the building and into a now dark city.
"You guys follow us in your cars okay?"
Shit. My cars at home and I lied this morning about driving here. Fuck.
"Umm can I actually ride with you guys? I'll pick my car up in the morning." I laugh awkwardly.
"I guess, bit odd though." Fin responds as he opens the car door for Claudia. I let myself into the back  seat and we head off. It feels nice to be putting the studio behind me for today.