My Best Friends Brother.

Chapter 23. - Where are Ü

*Isa's POV*

It's been three weeks since Myles and Kalin when back to the bay. Myles has barely called me, barely text me, and has only skyped me once. Well, that's been the last two weeks. The first week he was in touch all the time. Since last Friday he's been so different. He rarely gets in touch, and when he does it's like he'd rather be doing something else. He's not busy, so why is he being so distant? I've talked to Kalin more that I've talked to Myles. That's exactly the reason I know he's not busy. Kalin told me he rarely leaves, and he's either a zombie, or super super hyphy. Kalin had no clue what to think. I don't know why he's doing this, and it's killing me. Did I do something before he left? Something that is making him regret his decision to be with me? Does he still love me?
It is exactly, that people, that I happen to think are really cool, think I'm absolute trash. That really gets tiring after a while. I wish I could figure out what I'm doing to scare these people away. Do I come off too strong, or do I stay too far away. I'm always afraid I'm going to smother someone, but I have no idea if they actually want more attention from me. But if I back off they think I'm not interested. Is this happening again with Myles? I love him so much it hurts. I've actually reverted back to smoking, even though I know Myles hates it. I just hurt so badly I need something to calm me down. Jake was even so worried about me he bought me pot brownies, because he knew I wasn't sleeping. He thought this would be safer than ambien, considering you can't overdose on brownies.
Jake has been super watchful over me since Myles has been gone. He knows about how I use to treat myself and he wants to make sure I'm ok. Myles knows about that too, I guess he just doesn't care anymore. Jake has been acting more like a boyfriend these past few weeks than Myles. Did I make the right decision? It doesn't matter, because I love his brother, and he shut the door on that anyways.
Georgia has been taking this a lot better than I have. It probably has something to do with the fact, her boyfriend actually stays in touch. I see her on the phone with Kalin, snapping him. I see their tweets about, and to each other. Let's just say Kalin has no problem with the world knowing about his relationship. He tweets about her, and she has been his #wcw every week since they've been dating. Myles hasn't tweeted about me, even indirectly since we've been dating. I don't know what his issue is, or if I'm even the issue. I do know that it's killing me.
I heard the door open. I don't bother looking to see who it is. I feel the bed sag next to me, and a hand on my shoulder, rubbing it gently. As if they wanted the contact, but didn't want to wake me up. Whoever it is they must think that I am asleep.
"I'm really sorry he's acting this way Isa..." Jake sounds like he's been crying. His voice is so unsteady, "It's all my fault," he abruptly stands, and I feel him staring at me. I hear him crying, and in his broken tone say, "I hope you can forgive me for all this pain I've put you through." I hear him leave, closing the door quietly.
How does he think this is his fault. Myles is the one being crazy. Jake has been nothing, but wonderful. He has nothing to be sorry for. Why can't Myles be showing this emotion? Why is he so numb? I can't handle his distance . I just want to know what's wrong, because the Myles that came to me over a month ago, is not the same Myles I'm dealing with now.
I decide to get up, and maybe eat...that is if I can. I walk to the kitchen and I see Georgia, and Jake talking in a manor like their concerned. They both jump, and instantly quiet when they hear me close my door.
"I thought you'd never get out of bed!" Georgia sounds exasperated, but thrilled. Jake just looks worried.
"I thought I might eat...if I can." I sulk over to the fridge. I haven't eaten in three days, but nothing looks appealing. I see a bottle of wine and before either Georgia or Jake realize I've uncorked it, and am chugging. I feel the slightly warm sensation. It's nothing like a shot, but it's still a little warming. When I finally stop chugging I've already drank half of it.
"Seriously Isa, now you have to eat or you'll be sick." Georgia sounds irritated, but mostly sympathetic. "How about I go get chipotle and bring it back." I sigh and look to the ground and start drinking again. "Ok bad idea...Burger King? They still have chicken fries.." She knows how much I love those things, but it doesn't sound appealing. Only the alcohol does.
"I don't want it, but I know you won't let me drink more till I eat, so sure." I sigh and sit down. I'm starting to feel woozy, because I'm drinking on a very empty stomach, and I was drinking so quickly. Georgia rolls her eyes, and goes off to get food.
The entire time I've been in the kitchen Jake has been looking at me with this forlorn expression, saying not a word. It's really starting to piss me off, because I know he's putting this on himself. "Jake stop trying to make me feel better by putting this blame on yourself, because it's not your fault. Myles is the dick not you." Pure shock registers on his face. "Yeah I was awake Jake."
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I don't know!... I just didn't."
"Well I mean...I'm the reason you personally know him! You met me and I introduced y'all!! So kind of it is my fault!"
"Jake you aren't the one being a dick, so don't be a dick and make yourself feel horrible!" I am up in his face before I realize. He just stares at me for a second, and then he kisses me, again. I am in complete shock. I don't move I just stand there like a statue. He pulls away and rushes to his room. I thought this was over, but I guess it's not.

*Jake's POV*

I don't know what I just did... I thought these feelings for Isa were gone. When I saw her like that all of the feelings I use to have for her condensed into that moment. I had to kiss her. There wasn't another choice. I hope I didn't piss her off more, but I don't know what I would of done if I hadn't.
I hate seeing her like this. Maybe that was my way of trying to make this better for her, but I know I didn't make things better. It had to of made it worse. I love her, and I have never been more confused, as to which way I love her. I don't know if I'm trying to take this speed bump between her and Myles, as a sign, or if I am just taking advantage of it.
I might need to stay away. I don't want to conflict her more. The problem is I don't know if I can stay away. She like a drug I can't get enough of, and I don't know if I will be able to handle the withdrawals. I haven't been away from Isa for more than a day since I've moved to Miami. I don't know if that's healthy, but it's the way it is. I don't know how much of this I can handle, but if Myles doesn't shape up soon...I'll have to handle him...