fourth wing xadens pov

chapter 34

Chapter 34: The Truth

Violet looks anywhere but at me, her gaze flicking too fast between every rider with us. I stare at her, panic fluttering in my chest.

Liam hovers close to her, like he can’t decide whether to go to her or stay exactly where he is. Bodhi and Garrick both watch her like she’s about to implode. Everyone else has moved several paces away, the same somber, pitying expressions lining every face.

Silence drags around us. Violet finally turns her gaze to mine. I can’t read her, can’t even think about how I should react. How do you tell the woman you’d do anything for that you couldn’t do the one thing they needed? Do I go to her? Do I give her space?

Will she ever forgive me?

But she doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. It’s only when Tairn shifts his focus towards me that I realise they must be talking. His lip snarls, a hint of teeth visible for a second as I catch his eye.

Violet takes a deep, shaky inhale. Her shoulders sag as the exhale catches in her throat and I know she’s realised just how far this betrayal reaches. It’s not only me that kept this from her, it’s her dragons. I’m walking towards her before I can register my feet are moving.

Her eyes pivot in every direction, like she’s looking for an escape route and her chest rises frantically as she takes in tiny sips of air. I’m desperate to comfort her, to pull her into my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. But I’m the one that did this to her. And I don’t know how to make it better.

Maybe if I could tell her the whole story… maybe she could find a way to forgive me. But then her gaze locks on me and narrows. Her eyes are cold, burning with a hatred more intense than the first time we met on the parapet all those months ago. The look eviscerates me. I stop moving. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what she needs.

“Were we ever really friends?” She whispers it, still looking at me for a moment but then turns to Liam at her side.

“We are friends, Violet, but I owe him everything,” Liam says, his voice laced with the same panic I can feel coursing through me. “We all do. And once you give him a chance to explain –”

A blast of crackling heat blazes through my mind as she finds her anger, and I pour shadows into the bond, trying to rebuild the mental walls between us.

“You watched me train with him!” She shoves at Liam so hard he stumbles backwards. “You stood by and watched me fall for him!”

“Oh shit.” Bodhi laces his hands behind his neck, glancing warily up at the sky.

Even behind my shadows I can feel the intensity of her, unsure if it’s fuelled by rage or by pain. Either way, I deserve to bear the brunt of this, not Liam. Fuck, he begged me to tell her weeks ago.

If she’s going to lose it, I need her focus trained on me.

“Violence, let me explain,” I say, earning the full force of her gaze. I’m five paces from her, can make out every tight line of her face, see her muscles tense with the power she’s holding.

“If you even think about touching me, I swear I’ll fucking kill you.” The sky responds to her words, lightning cracking across the sky, jumping from cloud to cloud.