fourth wing xadens pov

chapter 20

Chapter 20: Heat and Fire

I manage to keep my shadows to myself for the rest of November. Deigh starts channelling to Liam about mid-way through the month, and Bodhi and I take turns teaching him to wield in his room. Violet’s still not channelling, and I can’t have Liam out of action for half the afternoon in Carr’s class when she can’t get in there yet.

Garrick and I are already dripping with sweat as we enter the Challenge room after a particularly gruelling afternoon on the flight field. Panchek had us out in the skies for hours, repeating the same drills over and over until every rider was struggling to stay seated. To most it was a ridiculous exercise, a test to stretch our capabilities in the air, but for the rebellion kids it was just another reminder of exactly what we stand to face beyond the borders.

We were both silently seething the whole way back, so fucking angry at what Command is prepared to hide to save their own skin. So, when Garrick suggested a round of sparring, it felt like he was seeing inside my head.

Now that I’m here, it feels like a decidedly bad idea when my eyes immediately pick out Violet, even in a throng of riders all gearing up for Challenges to restart in a few weeks’ time.

Fuck, she looks incredible as she circles Rhiannon on the mat, giving me a view of her from every angle. Her cheeks are flushed pink with the exertion, but she looks so much stronger than she did a few months ago, the muscles in her arms flexing as she swings the weapon in her hands.

Rhiannon has her training with a bow staff, but I can see from here that it’s all wrong for her. That kind of weapon needs size and strength; it throws Violet’s balance off with every strike. The words in Brennan’s letter haunt me: Keep her alive. Whatever it takes.

In my selfish attempt at distance, I’ve left her training and protection in the hands of a first-year. A first-year who also has no idea of the extent of the threat we face.

As if to prove my point, I watch from the doors as Rhiannon puts Violet on the mat and waits an extra beat before re-engaging.

I’m walking towards them intending to teach her myself, when Violet says, “You’re taking it easy on me.” She glares up at Rhiannon who grimaces back at her, swishing the staff through the air.

“We’ve been at this for an hour. You’re tired, and the last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

“Challenges resume after solstice,” Violet says, as she gets back on her feet. “You’re not doing me any favours by holding back.”

“She’s not wrong,” I say, unable to stop myself from reinforcing the point. I lock my eyes with Rhiannon pointedly, who drops her gaze to the floor. Liam jumps to his feet from where he was sat on the bench, like he’s suddenly remembered he’s supposed to be looking out for her too.

Do these people not realise what’s at stake here? I walk past them with Garrick before I can say something stupid.

“Well aware,” Violet says, tracking me with burning, angry eyes as I walk past her. She flicks her hand at me dismissively. “Go away unless you have something useful to say.”

Gods, I love the way she talks to me, the fiery challenge in her eyes. She is so completely unafraid. I want her so fucking badly, I’m scared it’s all over my face.