In Between Us || Zhanyi

Breaking Points

Under Working: 23/08/2024

Zhan walked out of his office, his mind in turmoil. Yibo's words, the way he had offered himself, lingered like a shadow he couldn't shake. Every step Zhan took echoed louder in the empty hallway, but nothing could drown out the whirlwind of emotions tightening in his chest.

Yibo, kneeling there, shirtless, eyes shut in resignation. What kind of husband makes his partner feel that giving their body is the only way to fix things? What kind of man he is who made his husband think that he wanted that kind of submission thing? The scene replayed in Zhan's mind, and for the first time, he felt something close to guilt clawing at him. As if whatever happened all because of him, he was the incapable one here.

"Something's very wrong..."

The realization hit him like a tidal wave. He had been always focused on keeping things perfect, logical and updated. But Yibo's silent cry for help—his readiness to offer himself as a solution—was proof that their relationship was unraveling at the seams. Zhan paused in the hallway, leaning against the cold wall, trying to steady his thoughts.

For the first time, the cracks in their marriage became painfully visible to Zhan.

Yibo wasn't some stubborn, independent man who simply didn't need him, as Zhan had interpreted. He was someone who had slowly, silently, been breaking under the weight of their unspoken distance. All these months, Zhan had been blind to the fact that while Yibo wore his independence like armor, beneath it, he was vulnerable, and Zhan had failed to protect him.

"He thought that's what I wanted..." Zhan's mind raced, regret setting in like a lead weight.

He pushed himself off the wall, walking faster now, but his mind continued spiraling. Memories came flooding back, scenes he had once dismissed but now took on new meaning.

There were countless moments where Yibo had stayed silent when Zhan spoke to him in that cold, authoritative tone. Zhan, ever the rational one, always assumed Yibo's quietness was a form of stubbornness, an attempt to assert his independence. But now he saw it for what it truly was: pain. Rejection. And in some ways, resignation.

"I'm failing him..." Zhan thought, the words twisting his insides.

For someone who had always prided himself on being capable, on handling everything with poise, this realization felt like a brutal blow to Zhan's ego. He was used to fixing problems, to keeping everything under control. But now, he was forced to admit that he was the source of the problem. He had failed to understand Yibo's real needs.

Zhan thought back to their wedding. He had seen Yibo as beautiful, captivating, and more importantly, capable. He never thought Yibo would misunderstand him in such a mean way. But now, as he walked through the darkened campus, Zhan felt a knot form in his throat. Never in his life he felt so helpless, so vulnerable.

"Why couldn't I see it before? Why didn't he speak up? Was that also my fault?"