In Between Us || Zhanyi

Untitled Part 17

Last working: 08/09/2024

Zhan's mind was a storm as he drove home. The words Ziyi had said kept circling his thoughts, twisting his logic and forcing him to question everything. 'Think about it, Xiao, Can you truly continue this marriage with someone you can't connect with? What future do you really hold together?'...........the same question he was asking himself for last half an hour

Her voice, calm and firm, echoed through his head. Zhan gripped the steering wheel tighter, his knuckles turning white. 'What future do we hold together?' The question gnawed at him. It wasn't that Yibo didn't try, but they were from different worlds. Their communication was broken, their understanding of each other fractured. Ziyi's analysis had made it clear that Yibo's inability to express himself wasn't a temporary issue—it was deeply ingrained, and Zhan couldn't keep pretending it would magically fix itself. It was foolish of him to expect that he could change Yibo or his ethics or morals but he can not allow himself to keep tie up with a person who maybe never be able to understand him.

Zhan had always prided himself on being independent. He had lived most of his life alone, never relying on anyone for emotional or physical support. So why now, after everything, should he feel bound to a marriage that seemed doomed to fail?

"Can you breathe alive without him?" Ziyi had asked.

Zhan scoffed at the memory, shaking his head. 'Of course I can,' he thought proudly. He had never needed anyone to survive. He was an independent man, capable of standing on his own, support himself be it emotionally or physically. Here it was only Yibo, who was dependent, on him. Their dynamic had always been one of care and provision. Zhan had taken responsibility for Yibo because it was the right thing to do. But there was nothing Yibo could do for him, more now if Yibo was incapable to understand him, why should he make them both suffer with a meaningless marriage?

As the city lights blurred past, Zhan let his thoughts spiral. Wouldn't it be better if they separated? Yibo needed stability, and Zhan could continue to support him without being tied down in a marriage that was suffocating them both. They could part on amicable terms, and Zhan could regain his freedom, the independence he had always cherished. Yibo would be cared for, but Zhan wouldn't have to live in this constant emotional limbo.

Isn't we learnt.... ' We should walk away from people who will never learn your real worth'...so it would be best to consider 'Divorce' as the solution for their problem.

The decision seemed logical, even right. Zhan exhaled, feeling a strange sense of relief as he mentally laid out the future as usual...planned. Life is what you plan and execute.

**********

Zhan parked his car with a resolution, heading towards his apartment but as soon as he reached in front of his apartment, he stood motionless for a moment at the door. His hand lingered on the handle, but his heart raced with a dull, steady thrum of guilt and confusion. The door opened to the same familiar emptiness that had always greeted him before Yibo had stepped into his life. But recently, it felt different.

The apartment was quiet—too quiet,  for a moment Zhan's eyes expected Yibo's smiley face welcoming him, Zhan shook himself, composing his emotions.