In Between Us || Zhanyi

Untitled Part 30

Last Worked: 20/09/2024

As the cold water finally dulled the intensity of his emotions, Zhan's breathing evened out, and his senses sharpened, the haze of his jealousy receding like a dissipating storm. The clarity that emerged left him hollowed and shaken, and with it came a painful awareness of his actions.

He could now recall every word he'd said to Yibo, every glare, every harsh edge to his voice. The moments flashed through his mind—the way he had loomed over Yibo, the venom in his words, the dark warnings he'd thrown at him. Zhan felt the crushing weight of regret settle over him. How could he have let his jealousy twist him like that, transforming his affection into something so harsh, so cruel?

An overwhelming wave of shame washed over him, his fists clenching at his sides as he struggled to breathe through the guilt clawing at him. Yibo didn't deserve that—not his harshness, not his wrath. Yibo deserved someone who cherished him, who wouldn't let their insecurities drive them to lash out.

With his heart heavy and mind reeling, Zhan knew he couldn't wait. Tomorrow, he would go to Yibo. He would apologize, not just for the things he said but for the darkness that had taken hold of him, for the fear he might have instilled. He would lay himself bare and ask for Yibo's forgiveness, humbling himself in the only way he knew how—by acknowledging his mistakes and promising to work on the possessiveness that had clouded his sincere commitment.

The fear lingered, the fear that he might have hurt Yibo deeply, that perhaps his outburst had already driven a wedge between them. But he had to make things right, had to show Yibo that he could be better, that he could care without allowing his darker emotions to take over.

With a shaky breath, Zhan stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel as he gathered his resolve. Tomorrow, he would face Yibo, speak from his heart, and hope that Yibo would see the sincerity in his words, would feel the regret that filled every part of him.

He dried off quickly, his mind a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Dressing himself, he avoided looking into the mirror, unable to meet his own eyes and confront the reflection of his actions. Each movement felt mechanical, driven by a desperate need to move forward, to fix what he had broken.

He left his room and living room as it was, making his way towards the guest room available in his apartment. As he sat on the edge of the bed, Zhan reached for his phone, his fingers hovering over the screen. He wanted to call Yibo, but the words refused to form. Instead, he decided to write a text for now......

He typed....

Dear Yib_

He deleted the phase typing again

Dear Bo_

Again, something felt wrong, so he deleted, his finger fidgeted as he typed again,

My dear husband,

Forgive this useless husband of yours. I know, I have already hurt you enough and no amount of justification or explanations would be enough from my side to make your pain better. But still, I want you to know, I'm so sorry for what I did. I was jealousy and my possessiveness got the better of me, and I hurt you in a way I never intended. I want to make things right. Can you give me a chance to apologize in person and to show you that I can be the partner you deserve.