Reflections & Revelations: A Journey Through My Thoughts

Listening to Love: The Alchemy of a Healthy Relationship

Have you ever wondered what a healthy relationship is? Because I have, many times.
Growing up, I used to have this idealized image of love, enchanted by sayings like "living on love and fresh water." But as time passed, I realized that love alone isn't always enough. No matter how deep the connection, financial struggles can weigh heavily on a relationship, creating imbalances that can strain even the most passionate love. And often, one person ends up carrying more of the burden than the other.

Without diving too much into the details—which, by the way, serve as great inspiration for my future writings—I started asking myself: What is truly essential for a solid, healthy relationship? Is it love, money, or maybe the ability to really listen and understand your partner? Without falling into the cliché of materialism in relationships, these reflections are simply the core of my thoughts.
Today, I'd like to approach this question from a different angle: what does a healthy relationship mean to me? Through my own experiences, I've noticed two distinct types of personalities in men.
The first, I'll call the problem solver. He's the man who doesn't just show up physically; he's present in every sense of the word. He listens, he's attentive, and he doesn't try to impose his viewpoint, but instead engages in meaningful conversations. He's the one who helps you think, who challenges your ideas, who supports you and pushes you to see beyond the surface. To me, this trait reflects an incredible inner strength. There's nothing more reassuring than a partner who makes you feel heard, understood, and whose presence encourages growth.

This kind of man doesn't just listen; he walks with you through your thoughts, supports your decisions, even when they differ from his. That, to me, is a real partner. He doesn't dominate the conversation but instead enables you to evolve by his side.
Then there's the other type, who I call the superficial listener. This man is more subtle, sometimes even deceiving. On the surface, he seems to listen: he nods, makes eye contact, responds in general terms. But as soon as the conversation requires more depth, he checks out. He has nothing to say, no opinion to offer, and leaves you to figure things out on your own. This behavior might seem harmless, but it's far more destructive than it appears. In reality, when he's not engaging in the conversation, it's as if he's leaving you to carry the weight of the relationship alone. You find yourself asking questions, seeking answers, but all you get in return is emptiness. And it's frustrating, draining.

What many fail to understand is that when we, as women, ask for an opinion, it's not just about getting an answer. We're seeking real involvement. We want to know that our choices, our thoughts, our emotions matter to the person sharing our life. If his responses are detached or superficial, it speaks volumes about his commitment to the relationship. Sadly, some of us continue to hope for change that never comes. We adapt, accept, hold on. But at what cost?
Effort in a relationship isn't just about words. It's not about saying, "Yes, yes, I'm listening." Real effort is visible, through actions. If communication isn't your strong suit and it's a recurring issue, then work on it. It's not a criticism; it's a need that your partner is expressing. It's a need for engagement, a need to feel heard, understood, and valued.

When a woman shares a part of her life, when she opens up to you, she's inviting you into her world. If you're not ready to listen, to truly be involved, then you're closing that door. And the more it closes, the more the relationship suffers. Because love isn't just about passion or fleeting moments. It's a constant investment, a shared exchange of thoughts, ideas, and emotions. A healthy relationship is one where both partners complement each other, where they work together, hand in hand, to move forward.
Otherwise, the loop remains incomplete. Decisions end up being made unilaterally, and the conversation gets cut off. Gentlemen, cherish the love you're given. Appreciate the listening ear offered to you, and don't just passively absorb it. If you're not willing to improve, to grow, then release the person before the relationship becomes toxic for both of you.

Communication—or rather, the lack of it—is often what kills a relationship. A woman who feels misunderstood, whose voice isn't heard, will feel lonely, even in a relationship. And a man who isn't a true partner, a problem solver, will inevitably drive the relationship toward a downward spiral. Think of it as a business. A growing company needs ongoing brainstorming, analysis, and above all, consistent engagement to make the right decisions.
A couple is no different. It's a project in constant evolution. It flourishes through the involvement of both partners. So be real partners. Work together for the success of your story. Because, in the end, a healthy relationship is one where love, money, and mutual commitment coexist in harmony.

                                              -TheShine