Reflections & Revelations: A Journey Through My Thoughts

Twice but not the same

Love is an experience that evolves over time. Each relationship is unique, but we all go through stages that leave a mark on us in one way or another. It's as if life has a well-defined path for each of us, filled with ups and downs that transform our view of love.

But why do we often feel like we're reliving certain things with each new relationship? Why don't the lessons we learn from one love prevent us from falling into the same traps again? The answer might be simple: each love is different. Each stage of our romantic lives reveals a new facet of this complex feeling. These experiences, though unique, often seem to lead us down similar paths. Love, with its many dimensions, pushes us to explore our emotions and revisit our beliefs. How have these experiences changed the way we love and the way we open our hearts to others?

1. Innocent Love: First sight, First Heartbeats:

This is the kind of love we stumble upon when we're still kids. A harmless crush at school that makes us giggle and daydream without even knowing why. It's funny because at that age, we don't think ahead—we just like someone, and it stops there. We don't even know what the next step could be. Instead, we live in our own imaginary world, seeing love like a faraway dream, something we watch from a distance. At that age, for most of us, life is simple. Love is light, carefree, with no real consequences. It's the first glimpse of affection that leaves a mark, but it's a soft, innocent one.

2. Youthful Love: Fiery Adolescence, Impatient Hearts:

Then we grow up a little and hit adolescence, where things get intense. Teenage love feels all-consuming, as if nothing else matters. We spend days in school together, believing that doing homework side by side is somehow preparing us for life. Every moment together feels like a plan for the future, even if it's as simple as grabbing a burger at McDonald's, where who pays doesn't matter. The world around us fades because, in that moment, it's just the two of us, navigating what feels like the greatest love we've ever known. It's dramatic, it's full of hope and fantasy, and we think it's forever. But the truth is, it's a love we remember for its innocence, not for its longevity.

3. Adult Love: Destructive and Hope-Breaking

And then, life really hits. We transition into adulthood, and love becomes... complicated. The kind of love that leaves you questioning everything. This is what I call destructive love. The love that makes you regret ever opening your heart. The love that makes you wonder if everyone is just out to hurt you. It's the kind of love that shatters your hope, that turns your soft heart into something cold and guarded. All the innocence you once had is suddenly gone, replaced by a flood of dark emotions—anger, disappointment, fear. You start to carry trauma with you, sometimes without even realizing it.
For the first time, you're not in control of your feelings. And for many of us, this is where we hit our lowest point. We shut down. It's like your heart builds an automatic defense system, a barrier so strong that it feels unbreakable. You convince yourself that every person you meet will bring you the same pain, and you become scared of letting anyone in.

But here's the thing, and I say this to you from a place of deep understanding: if you've ever felt this way, you're not alone. This isn't just my story—it's ours. We're called delusional, overly sentimental, or too "lovey-dovey." But here's the truth: we're just people who loved too deeply and too freely, only to be met with heartbreak. We gave our hearts to the wrong person, at the wrong time. And now, we walk around with these invisible scars, trying to protect what's left of us.
The saddest part isn't even the heartbreak itself—it's what comes after. The constant fear that history will repeat itself. We start expecting every good thing to end, every kind word to turn into a lie. It's exhausting, always being on guard, always preparing for the worst. I get it. I've been there.

But, as someone who has walked this road, let me share something with you that took me years to learn. Always have faith in God and in His plan for you. Even when life feels heavy, even when it seems like there's nothing left to be thankful for, trust me—every small blessing counts. Every moment of gratitude is a step toward healing. Karma never loses its way, and I promise you, His plans are greater than any of our dreams. Dream big, yes, but also live fully in every emotion. Feel it all, learn from it, and forgive yourself for your mistakes. Life is too short to live with regrets. True happiness comes when your heart is at peace.

If you fall again—and you will—acknowledge it. Don't beat yourself up over it. Reflect on what happened, try to see where things went wrong. Mistakes might happen more than once, but never exactly the same way. In fact, I'd say there's a greater chance of you falling in love again than there is of... (what's something more obvious than love?). And that's okay. The key is to notice the new cracks, the new lessons, and grow from them.

One day, you'll learn to avoid the traps, to focus on what's good, and to keep moving forward. You'll find yourself stronger, wiser. As for the walls you've built around your heart—don't rush to break them down. Don't let anyone push you before you're ready. The right person won't try to fix you with quick solutions or make you feel like you have to be "healed" from the start. They'll walk with you through the process, showing you that not everyone is the same. This time, love will feel different. They won't be eager for you to open up right away. They won't expect you to be emotionally available from day one or to trust fully without hesitation.

You might come off as distant, reserved, maybe even cold, but that's okay. It's not that you're uninterested or unwilling to love—it's that you've learned the value of your heart, and it's harder to give away. The right person will understand that. They won't push for immediate affection or emotional availability. Instead, they'll be patient, allowing you the time and space you need to feel safe again.

Be gentle with yourself.

That person will see the beauty in your imperfections. For the first time, you'll feel safe enough to let your guard down, to walk a new path with someone who doesn't just guard your heart, but loves every part of it. And for once, you'll know—you're home.

                                   -TheShine