Heaven's Mailbox

Shoe Box

Shoe Box

Mommy?

Are you crying po, Mommy? No… No… Don’t cry, Mommy. It’s ok. I understand why you did it. Don’t blame yourself. It’s not your fault. It’s not your fault that Daddy left you. That Daddy didn’t want me. And don’t blame Daddy. It’s not his fault either. He was just scared and confused. He didn’t know what to do.

You were scared too, Mommy.

You were also confused and you didn’t know what to do.

That’s why you did it and now you’re in pain and crying.

It’s ok, Mommy. I know you love me. I know you’d let me grow inside your tummy. I know you’d raise me and be the best Mommy in the world. But you were hurt and scared and confused. And you’re so young. You want to go to college. You want to be an interior designer so you could make me a magical home. You also want to fall in love. With the right man. You want to have a family and have babies just like what I’m supposed to be. You have dreams and it’s a mistake to have me now.

Yes, I know. You never treated me like I am a mistake. I know that you think aborting me is the mistake. You think you killed me. Yes, Mommy. It’s a mistake to not give me a chance to live. But you will make more mistakes if you let me live. You might blame me for hindering your dreams. You might blame me because I wasn’t good enough that’s why Daddy didn’t want me.  You might hate me, Mommy. When the truth is you just hate yourself for inflicting to me the hate…the pain…the anger that you feel.

But look at me now, Mommy!

I’m an angel! I have small white wings and there’s no sign of the pain, anger and fear which killed me. You can now continue to dream, Mommy. You can go to college and be an interior designer. You can fall in love. Not with Daddy anymore but with the right man, Mommy. With the man that will accept you and will love you no matter what. With the man that will the father of my brothers and sisters.

So stop crying, Mommy. Stop hating yourself.

You’re my Mom. I already forgave you from the moment I grew inside your tummy. So wipe away those tears, Mommy, and go on with your life. And don’t look back.

Don’t look back until you achieved all your dreams. Until you’re an interior designer. Until you already made a magical home for my brothers and sisters. Until you find that right man I’ve been telling you about.

Don’t look back, Mommy. Don’t look back but don’t forget about me.

Because, Mommy? I only have one wish.

When all your dreams is in your hands, please look back and remember that child. That child you placed in a shoe box and buried in your backyard. That child you buried while your heart is breaking.

Please remember me, Mommy. Please remember me so you could replace my shoe box and make my home magical. Until then, your little angel will keep on watching you.

I love you, Mommy.