Shadows of Revenge

39. The Burden of Grief

Faye’s Perspective

Faye sat by the window, watching the raindrops slide down the glass like the tears she couldn’t hold back any longer. Her fists clenched tightly as her heart burned with frustration, sorrow, and something darker—an overwhelming sense of betrayal. Her thoughts were a chaotic storm as Yoko’s words echoed in her mind, but she couldn’t make sense of them.

"Yeah, Freen finally went to see her." Yoko had said it casually, as if it were something to celebrate, but Faye felt only disgust.

How? she thought, her fists tightening until her knuckles turned white. How can Freen just move on like that? Doesn't she love Sarah?

Faye’s heart ached at the thought of her sister, the vibrant, beautiful Sarah, who had been so full of life—until it was cruelly taken from her. And Becky, Faye thought bitterly, Becky could have saved her. She was there, at the party. She heard Sarah’s call for help and did nothing.

Faye slammed her hand against the table, her chest heaving with rage. "How could Freen be with her? With Becky of all people? The girl who let Sarah die?"

Her voice trembled, thick with the tears she fought to suppress. She felt Yoko’s hand on her arm, a gentle attempt to calm her, but it did nothing to ease the fire raging inside her.

“Faye, please, you need to let this go,” Yoko whispered softly, her concern evident. “This hatred... it’s not helping you.”

Faye pulled away from Yoko’s touch, her eyes flashing with anger. “You don’t understand!” she spat, her voice shaking. “How can I let it go? How can I just forget that Becky could have saved Sarah? My sister… my sister is dead, Yoko! And now that same girl—that girl—is with Freen. How can she be happy after everything she’s done?”

Her voice broke, the weight of her grief finally cracking her tough exterior. She wasn’t just angry—she was broken. Broken by the loss of her sister, by the guilt that haunted her every night. Faye had been losing sleep for months now, her dreams consumed by Sarah’s voice, begging for help, calling out to her.

Why didn’t I protect her? Faye thought to herself, the guilt crushing her chest. Why wasn’t I there?

Yoko’s gentle voice broke through her thoughts. “Faye, you can’t keep blaming Becky. It wasn’t her fault. She was scared—”

“No!” Faye screamed, cutting Yoko off. “You weren’t there! You didn’t see Sarah that night. You didn’t hear her last breath. You don’t get to say it wasn’t Becky’s fault. She should have done something. She should have saved her!”

Yoko bit her lip, tears welling in her own eyes as she watched the woman she loved unravel before her. She knew this pain had taken over Faye, consumed her every thought, every waking moment. Faye had become obsessed with the past, with her sister’s death, and no amount of comfort seemed to ease that burden. Yoko had even taken her to see a doctor, hoping that some professional help would soothe her aching heart, but it had been no use. Faye was too far gone, too buried in her grief to see anything clearly.

Faye’s voice softened, but her words were no less bitter. “And now, Freen loves her. My sister’s lover is with the girl who let her die. How can I ever be okay with that? How can anyone expect me to be okay with that?”

The anger in Faye’s heart twisted into something darker, a resentment she had carried for too long. She had been behind it all—the subtle clips she’d sent Becky, showing Freen with the knife. She had been the one to plant seeds of doubt, to create that rift between them. She had wanted Freen to see Becky for who she was—a girl who had failed the one person she should have saved.

And now, despite everything Faye had done to keep them apart, they were reuniting. Freen had gone to see Becky, to confess her love, and the thought of it made Faye’s stomach churn with disgust. How can Freen forgive her? she wondered bitterly. How can she move on?

Faye didn’t want to admit it to herself, but deep down, it wasn’t just about Sarah anymore. It was about her. Faye had lost more than her sister that night. She had lost her sense of justice, her belief that the world was fair. And now she was watching as the people who had hurt her most were finding their way back to happiness.

She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t stand the thought of Becky being happy—of Freen finding peace with her. How could they deserve such happiness after what they did to Sarah?

Faye's vision blurred with tears she had tried so hard to suppress. Yoko pulled her into an embrace, holding her tightly as Faye’s body shook with sobs.

“I miss her so much,” Faye whispered through her tears. “I miss Sarah, Yoko. And every time I see them together, I just… I feel like I’m losing her all over again.”

Yoko stroked Faye’s hair gently, her heart breaking for the woman she loved. “I know, Faye,” she murmured. “I know. But you need to let go of this hatred. It’s eating you alive. Sarah wouldn’t want this for you. She wouldn’t want you to destroy yourself over this.”

Faye shook her head, pulling away from Yoko’s embrace. “I can’t,” she whispered, her voice hoarse. “I can’t let go. Not until Becky understands what she’s done. Not until she feels the pain I’ve felt.”

Yoko sighed, her heart heavy. She knew Faye wasn’t ready to let go, but she couldn’t watch her spiral into this darkness forever. She had to find a way to help her heal, before it was too late.

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