Shadows of Revenge

37. Silent Forgiveness

Becky sat in the dimly lit living room of her small condo, her fingers tracing the edges of the coffee cup in her hand. The air felt heavy with unsaid words, with emotions that neither of them knew how to express. Freen was sitting across from her, trying so hard to make sense of the situation, to find the right words to fix the distance that still lingered between them.

Freen had been talking for a while now, her voice a mix of regret and hope. She kept glancing at Becky, searching for any sign of response. But Becky remained silent, her gaze fixed somewhere beyond Freen, lost in her own thoughts. She had forgiven Freen, or at least she wanted to believe she had. But moving forward… that was a different story.

“I’m sorry, Becky. I know I hurt you, and I can’t take that back. But I’m here now. I’m trying,” Freen’s voice cracked, the vulnerability in her words hanging in the air between them.

Becky’s hands tightened around the cup, the warmth seeping into her palms as she struggled to respond. She had forgiven Freen in her heart, but her mind was still tangled in the hurt, the confusion. She wanted to move on, but the walls she had built around herself over the past year were too high, too thick.

Freen reached out hesitantly, her fingers brushing against Becky’s knee. “I… I don’t know how to do this, Becky. I don’t know how to make things right between us. But I do know that I love you. I’ve always loved you, even when I didn’t realize it.”

Becky finally looked up, her eyes meeting Freen’s for the first time since she had arrived. There was a flicker of something in her gaze—pain, yes, but also a glimmer of the love that had once burned so brightly between them. She wanted to believe in Freen’s words, to trust that they could find their way back to each other. But something inside her was still holding back, still scared.

“I just…” Becky opened her mouth, her voice hoarse from disuse. “I don’t know if I can do this, Freen. Not yet.” Her voice was soft, barely a whisper, but the weight of her words was undeniable.

Freen nodded, her heart aching, but she understood. “I know, and I’m not asking you to move on right now. I’ll wait. I’ll give you the time you need.”

Becky looked down again, her fingers trembling slightly as she set the cup aside. She appreciated Freen’s patience, but the distance between them still felt so vast, so impossible to bridge.

Freen stood up, walking over to the small window that overlooked the quiet street below. “I’m not going anywhere, Becky. I’ll be here, no matter how long it takes. Just… just don’t shut me out completely.” Her voice was quieter now, tinged with the fear that Becky might never let her back in.

But Becky didn’t respond. She simply stared at the cup on the table, the silence between them growing thicker with each passing second. Freen turned back to look at her, waiting, hoping for something—anything—that would tell her Becky was still with her.

But Becky’s silence said it all. She wasn’t ready, not yet.

Days passed, and Freen kept coming back to Becky’s condo, quietly, patiently. She would bring little things—flowers, groceries, sometimes Becky’s favorite coffee, even though she knew Becky had barely spoken a word since their reunion. It hurt Freen to see her like this, the woman who once filled every room with laughter and charm now a shell of the person she used to be.

Today was no different. Freen had arrived in the late afternoon, a small bouquet of daisies in hand. She placed them in a vase on Becky’s kitchen counter, glancing around the tiny space that Becky had made her home for the past year. It was modest, almost barren, with only the bare essentials. It mirrored Becky’s state of mind—empty, isolated, untouched by life.

“Hey, I brought these for you,” Freen said softly, unsure if Becky even cared. Becky was sitting by the window, her back to Freen, her body language distant but not cold.

Freen crossed the room and sat beside her on the couch, maintaining a respectful distance. She talked again, like she had been for the past few days—telling Becky stories, talking about mundane things, anything to fill the silence. But today, she couldn’t take it anymore.

“Becky, I miss your voice,” Freen finally said, her voice strained. “I miss hearing you talk to me. You don’t have to say much. Just… something. Please.”

Becky looked at her, her eyes hollow yet filled with a deep, silent sadness. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but no words came. The silence between them felt suffocating, the weight of it pressing down on both of them. Freen’s heart clenched, watching the woman she loved so dearly trapped in her own world of pain. She wanted so badly to break through, to pull Becky back from whatever darkness she was living in.

“Becky, please,” Freen whispered, her voice breaking. “Talk to me. I’ll wait as long as you need, but please… don’t shut me out completely.”

Becky’s lips trembled, her hands curling into fists on her lap. She wanted to speak, wanted to tell Freen that she still cared, that she still loved her, but the words felt trapped in her throat, stuck behind a wall of fear and uncertainty.

Freen moved closer, reaching out to gently touch Becky’s hand. “I know you’re hurting. I know it’s going to take time. But I’m here. I’m not leaving you again, Becky.”

Becky’s eyes filled with tears, but she still couldn’t find the words. She closed her eyes, letting the tears fall silently down her cheeks. Freen’s heart broke at the sight, but she knew this was all Becky could give her right now. And for now, it would have to be enough.

Without saying a word, Freen wrapped her arms around Becky, holding her close. Becky didn’t push her away this time. She let herself be held, her body trembling in Freen’s embrace. Freen pressed a gentle kiss to Becky’s temple, her heart aching with the love she felt for this woman, and the helplessness of not being able to fix her pain.

“I love you, Becky,” Freen whispered into her hair. “I’ll wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”

Becky didn’t respond, but for the first time, she didn’t pull away. And in that silence, Freen found hope.

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