The Moment She Saw Him

Part 28

Sehar

Yesterday, I had made up my mind. Today, after our final exam, I was going to stop by Hamza's house and talk to him. It was our last exam today, and I had promised to meet him on this day. I'd even told Mom about it. "Did you say yes to Raza?" I asked Ziya as soon as she got on the bus.She plopped down beside me, looking tired but still with that "Ziya spark."  "No, I told him I needed some time to decide," she sighed, resting her head against the bus window. Ziya looked upset, and I knew this whole thing with Raza was really bothering her. Both of us had always been so sure about not wanting relationships. We used to call them "the biggest distractions" in life. We were all about becoming independent businesswomen, not getting caught up in romance."I don't get why he even asked," she said, rolling her eyes. "I mean, one minute we're studying for math, and the next, he's like, 'Ziya, will you be my girlfriend?' Ugh! The timing!"
I couldn't help but laugh. "Maybe math makes people bold," I joked. "You're solving equations, and suddenly, feelings hit!"Ziya grinned and shook her head. "If that's the case, I should've said, 'Let me solve this first, then we'll talk!'" She pretended to do some air-math, like she was calculating a really tough equation, which made me laugh even harder."You should've handed him a test," I teased. "Like, 'Raza, if you can solve this, *maybe* I'll think about it!'"Ziya laughed, then threw her hands up dramatically. "That's it! I'll make him fill out an application form! 'Why do you think you're qualified to be my boyfriend?' Multiple choice questions only.""That's genius!" I said, grinning. 

"Question one: 'What's your idea of a perfect date?' A. Watching me study. B. Bringing me snacks while I study. C. Being quiet while I study." Ziya was giggling now. "D. None of the above because I'll be too busy for dates anyway!"

We laughed so hard, Ziya's cousins sitting behind us gave us a *look*—you know, that "quiet down, girls" stare. But it only made us giggle more.As the bus rolled on, I started to feel the nervousness creep back in. I was going to see Hamza soon, and the thought of talking to him about... well, whatever this was between us, made my stomach do somersaults."So, you're really going to Hamza's after this, huh?" Ziya asked, giving me a knowing look."Yeah," I said, suddenly feeling a bit shy. "I promised him I'd talk to him today."Ziya wiggled her eyebrows. "Oooooh, *talk* to him, huh?"I smacked her arm playfully. "Shut up! It's not like that!"She laughed. "Come on, Sehar. You know it's kind of like that. You've been thinking about him for weeks! And now, after our last exam, it's like... the *grand finale*.""Stop making it sound like a rom-com!" I groaned, though I couldn't help but smile."Hey, if my life's turning into a comedy with Raza and his 'I-need-an-answer' face, yours might as well be a romance!" she teased."Well, if it's a rom-com, I'm still stuck in the part where everything's confusing," I admitted.Ziya leaned back, grinning. "That's the best part, though. It's all messy and fun. You'll figure it out. Just don't forget to have a good time with it.""Easy for you to say," I muttered, but her lightness was contagious. It made me feel less tense about the whole thing.When the bus finally neared Hamza's stop, Ziya turned to me, winking. "Good luck, Sehar! And remember: if he starts acting weird, just hand him a math problem to solve!"I laughed, shaking my head as I stood up. "I'll try that."With one last wave to Ziya, I got off the bus, feeling a little less nervous and a lot more like I could handle whatever was about to happen. After all, if Ziya could joke about Raza's proposal, I could manage one conversation with Hamza.Right?Maybe Ziya was right—this could be fun, if I let it be.

Hamza

For the past two days, my mind had been consumed with thoughts of Sehar and how I was going to tell her about my past—about Mallika, and the lie I'd used to push her away. I couldn't stop thinking about what Sehar would think of me once she knew everything. The guilt of what I'd done to Mallika had been eating away at me, and it only got worse with every hour that passed.I'd lied to Mallika, telling her I was having an affair, just to get out of the mess I'd created. It was the easiest way to end things, or so I thought. But I'd underestimated how much damage it would cause, not just to her, but to me as well. I was left feeling like a coward, someone who ran away instead of facing the consequences of his actions. And now, with Sehar, all of that guilt was crashing down on me again. She didn't deserve to be dragged into this.