The Moment She Saw Him

Part 31

Sehar

For the past week, I've done everything to stop thinking about Hamza. I've tried not to look at him, not to check old photos of us on my phone, but somehow he keeps slipping back into my thoughts. My parents always warned me not to trust people so easily, yet I've always wanted to believe in the good in others. Even when people hurt me, I kept hoping that one day things would be different.
With Hamza, I thought he'd be different too. We were just friends, but he knew me well. He understood the scars I carried and how easily I let people into my heart. And still, he broke my trust. It wasn't that he had another friendship or relationship that bothered me; it was the lies. It hurt knowing he could look someone in the eye, act like everything was fine, and pretend without guilt.Now, sitting by my window, Ziya's words come back to me: "You deserve someone who respects your trust." I know she's right, but letting go isn't easy. I feel torn, wondering if what I thought we shared was real or just a picture I created in my mind. I'm trying to be happy again, to go back to the old me. I'm trying to focus on optimism and hope, to rebuild myself bit by bit. But memories of Hamza still linger, haunting me even as I try to forget. Maybe one day I'll understand, or maybe some things will never make sense. For now, I just need to let myself feel everything and trust that, someday, it won't hurt as much.

I have a whole life to create for myself—I can't stay stuck like this forever. It's been almost a month now since Hamza and I last spoke. For a whole month, there were no laughs, no easy conversations. I don't know if he's been doing okay, but I certainly haven't laughed with my whole heart like I used to.Exams are over now, and we're about to wrap up our first year in just a couple of months. Time is slipping away so quickly; everything seems to be moving at lightning speed. In one more year, this chapter of our lives will close, and we'll finally be free to make our own paths and chase our dreams.With this thought in mind, I decide it's time to refocus on my friends, on the simple joys that once made me so happy. Ziya and I start spending more time together, filling our days with laughter, and reminding ourselves of all the little things we've achieved. Every day, I feel lighter, like a weight has slowly started to lift.One weekend, we decide to go out to the lake, a place we've always loved. The two of us sit on the edge, legs dangling over the water, talking about everything and nothing.  Ziya talks excitedly about traveling and exploring new places. Her energy is contagious, and I find myself smiling, truly smiling, for the first time in weeks.I start to feel a sense of hope again. Maybe this is what I needed—a reminder that life is about more than one person or one friendship. There's a whole world out there, waiting for me to explore, with friends who genuinely care and dreams I can still chase.As we laugh together, I realize that I'm ready to move forward. No more waiting, no more looking back. This is my chance to be happy, to be myself again, and to create a future filled with all the optimism I'd nearly forgotten.

I had just finished reading my novel and was lying on my bed when my phone buzzed. It was Ziya calling."Hey!" she greeted, sounding out of breath."Hey, what's going on? You okay?" I asked, a bit concerned."Yes...no...actually, not really. Raza just called me, and he was crying. He could barely talk. I don't know what happened—he wouldn't say much. All he kept repeating was to call you right away. I'm really worried, Sehar. I don't know what to do.""What on earth is going on, Ziya? I need more information. Call Raza back and tell him to calm down and explain what's happening."
As I waited, I felt a knot tightening in my stomach. Moments later, Ziya called back.
"It's Hamza," she whispered, her voice shaking. "He was in a serious accident. Raza just found out, and he's devastated. He wanted to call you because...because he thought you should know."I took a deep breath, feeling a mix of emotions wash over me. But then I closed my eyes, reminding myself of the past month, of all the hurt and betrayal I'd worked so hard to push through. Hamza and I had shared so much, but he'd broken my trust in a way I couldn't ignore. I'd spent so much time trying to move forward, trying to be happy without letting him haunt my thoughts.I took another deep breath and said, "Ziya, I'm really sorry to hear this, but I can't go back. I need to keep moving forward. I don't want to get pulled back into that part of my life."Ziya sounded surprised. "Are you sure? This is serious, Sehar.""Yes, I'm sure. I can't change what's happened, and I don't want to reopen those wounds. He made his choices, and I'm making mine."After I hung up, I felt a sense of calm. It was strange, but I felt stronger somehow. I knew I was choosing myself, and that felt like the right step forward. For once, I wasn't looking back.