The Weight of Our Expectation

Heavy Decisions

(edited 2024-10-20)

'Another week, another chance to grow.' After he lowered the dumbbells, Marco wiped his palm, stretching his fingers to keep the ache away.

Across the YMCA weight room, his dad and brother lifted with a practiced ease that made Marco feel like such a noob. He wasn't strong enough to spot for either of them yet, so Matteo spotted their father on the bench press. Marco's gaze drifted toward the wall of mirrors. His reflection stared back.

There were obvious hills developing across his chest, arms, and legs, even his tush, all pushing up, eager to burst forth. It was like that project back in sixth grade. But he was building up a topographical map of muscle on Marco, not the Allegheny mountains on form board. And these were just foothills, not mountains —at least not yet. He'd been lifting every weekend for almost a whole year now, ever since convincing his father to let him join in.

At first, it had just been a fun new challenge. But lately? Marco lost himself in his reflection.

He spotted a second pair of eyes in the mirror. Another kid, maybe a couple years older, definitely younger than Matteo, watching him from the pec deck. He didn't know why, but the way this guy was looking made Marco feel... noticed. It was weird, but it felt so good to have someone watching him so intently. Marco wasn't here trying to impress anyone, just here to lift weights, to get bigger. But there was a thrill in knowing someone else was paying attention.

He grabbed the dumbbells again and prepared for his next set. Continuing to watch his spy in the mirror, the older boy seemed to be studying Marco's form, his eyes lingering on Marco's arms as he curled the weights, first one, then the next. Marco felt a surge of pride at being observed by someone older who clearly appreciated what he saw. This gave a boost of confidence, making Marco a little more eager to show off.

Without even thinking about it, he decided to up his game. Marco racked the two dumbbells and picked up the next heavier pair, pushing himself harder. The older boy was still looking. This was like putting on a show for him. It felt weird, but it sort of made Marco feel alive. It was different than at a gymnastics competition. This was more... personal.

Marco didn't waste time wondering why he was doing it — or why the thought of impressing this unknown kid mattered at all. Finishing his final set, he purposefully caught the older boy's eye again, sparking a sense of excitement. He racked the weights with a clang, then grabbed for his water bottle, enjoying the sensation of the cool liquid in his throat.

Why was he bothering with this guy? Why did a random kid matter at all? Wiping himself with his towel, Marco made eye contact with the other kid yet again, just to see what he'd do. The guy just looked back at him. Maybe... impressed? Like he saw something special?

'Something special.' The thought would echo in Marco's mind long after that guy had gone on to other things.

It was strange, feeling validation from a stranger. Different from the cheers of the crowd at gymnastics meets. This felt... like a shared secret. Deep in his gut, it sparks a desire that went beyond the satisfaction of mastering a routine or winning a medal. He liked being *seen,* being recognized as different. Special. Power and potential he felt building up inside him.

When that boy had looked at him, Marco had caught a glimpse of a different future, one where his body wasn't just about athletic achievements, but was a canvas for attracting attention that could lead to... people looking up to him? Respect? Maybe other things, too.

Strangely, this single made the youngest Patria feel really good. The weight room wasn't about winning a competition or getting a trophy, it was about becoming worthy of notice.