Him? [JesBible]

9 [Secrets in the Shadows]

The sun dipped low in the sky, casting long shadows across the temple grounds. Bible stood before the altar, clutching a flickering candle in his trembling hand, his heart so heavy it felt like it could collapse under the weight of it all. Today marked the anniversary of his boyfriend’s death—the day his world had shattered. The flame danced, but all Bible could think about was how quickly life could be snuffed out, just like that, without warning.

The silence around him only made his grief more unbearable. Every prayer he whispered felt like it was swallowed by the air, unheard, unanswered. As if nothing could ever fill the void left behind.

Then, he felt a presence beside him. He turned, his chest tightening when he saw Jet standing a few feet away, uncertain and out of place. “Hey,” Jet said softly, his voice filled with hesitation. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Bible’s stomach twisted. Of all days… why did it have to be today? His voice came out sharp, laced with barely-contained anger. “What are you doing here, Jet?” His words cut through the air like a knife. “Can’t you leave me alone? Just for today.”

Jet’s face darkened, but he tried to stay calm. “I came to pay my respects. I thought—”

“No.” Bible’s voice rose, the bitterness in him bubbling to the surface, uncontrollable. “You don’t get to do this. You don’t get to show up here like you understand anything about today—about what this means.”

“I’m trying to be there for you,” Jet replied, a flicker of frustration creeping into his voice. “But you keep shutting me out. I don’t know how to help you if you won’t let me in.”

“Help me?” Bible let out a hollow laugh, the sound so bitter it made Jet flinch. “You think you can help me? You think you can understand what it feels like to wake up every single day and remember that the person you love is gone?” His voice cracked, and he had to take a breath to steady himself, but his eyes burned with unshed tears. “You don’t know what it’s like to lose someone like that. To lose everything in one moment.”

Jet’s expression softened, but his words were still edged with tension. “I’m not trying to replace him, Bible. I’m not… but I’m trying to be here for you.”

“Be here for me?” Bible’s voice broke, and he shook his head, the anger spilling over. “Jet, every time I look at you, all I see is him. You look exactly like him, and it’s killing me!” His chest heaved as the pain rushed through him, the raw wound he’d been carrying for so long tearing open again. “Do you even know how that feels? To see the face of the person you loved more than anything, but knowing it’s not them—knowing it’ll never be them again?”

Jet winced, stepping closer, but Bible took a step back, as if Jet’s presence was suffocating him. “I’m not trying to hurt you,” Jet said softly, but Bible barely heard him over the sound of his own heartbeat thundering in his ears.

“Then why are you here?” Bible’s voice shook, full of hurt and betrayal. “Why can’t you just leave me alone? Every time you come around, you rip open this wound again and again, and I don’t think I can take it anymore, Jet.”

Jet’s expression hardened, frustration slipping through. “You need to stop pushing everyone away, Bible. You’re drowning in grief, and no one can pull you out if you won’t let them.”

“You think I want to feel like this? You think I choose this?” Bible’s voice was barely a whisper now, choked by the tears he refused to shed. “You don’t get it. You have no idea how it feels to lose the one person who understood you, who loved you… and now I’m just supposed to be okay? Just supposed to move on because you think I should?” His voice trembled. “Do you know what it’s like to live every single day feeling like a part of you is missing? Like it died with them?”

Jet’s jaw tightened, his own frustration boiling over. “I’m not him, Bible. I never will be. But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

“That’s the problem!” Bible shouted, his voice finally breaking, the raw pain pouring out. “You look like him, but you’re not him! And that kills me every time I see your face. It reminds me of everything I’ve lost—everything I’ll never have again. And you stand there, acting like you can fix me? You can’t fix me, Jet!” His voice cracked, and this time, the tears slipped from his eyes, unbidden.

Jet looked like he wanted to say something, to reach out, but Bible’s words cut through the air like a knife. “You don’t belong here. You’re just making it worse.”

The silence between them was deafening, thick with the weight of unsaid things. Bible could barely breathe, the pain suffocating him. Every time he looked at Jet, it felt like a knife twisting in his chest—a cruel reminder that no matter what, Jes wasn’t coming back.

Jet’s expression faltered, his voice quieter now, almost pleading. “Bible… you can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Bible’s voice dropped, a bitter edge to it. “Maybe you don’t understand because you’ve never lost someone you loved like that. Maybe you’re just here because you don’t know what else to do.”

Jet’s anger flared again, but this time there was pain beneath it. “You think I’m just here out of pity? You think I don’t have my own reasons for being here?”

“I don’t care what your reasons are,” Bible snapped. “You can’t give me back what I’ve lost. You’ll never understand the hole that’s left in me. You showing up, looking like him… it’s not help, Jet. It’s torture.”

Jet’s jaw clenched, but before he could respond, Bible’s best friend, Bas, stepped in, his voice calm but firm. “Enough. Both of you.” He placed a hand on Bible’s shoulder, trying to steady the storm of emotions. “This isn’t the time or place.”

But Bible wasn’t ready to let it go. His heart felt like it was ripping apart, the pain too fresh, too deep. He stared at Jet, his eyes wet with tears, his voice breaking one last time. “You don’t belong here, Jet. Not today. Not ever.”

Jet’s face twisted with hurt, but he didn’t argue. Instead, he turned and walked away, his steps heavy, leaving Bible standing there, shattered and alone.

As the quiet of the temple settled around him again, Bible felt the weight of his grief pressing down harder than ever. The flickering candle in his hand wavered in the air, much like the fragile hold he had on his emotions. All that was left now was the silence and the haunting memory of the one person he would never see again.

....

Guys..I made a mistake..the hell I suppose to do? I accidentally skip this chapter but I already have a draft for the other chapter before this chapter...
It supposed to be 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9...
But I accidentally skip chapter 9 so the next chapter (10,11,12..) are before chapter 9..I don't know what I'm supposed to do..huwaaaaa