We Fell In Love In October - Wintumn Flufftober

Protecting

A/N - I truly don't know if this still counts as "fluff..." But it's going to be a double post day because I got further behind cause writers block so it's at least something  and the next one DEFINITELY is so I'm going to post this one anyway. <3 

TW: Allusions to Miscarriage 

Autumn knew she could take more time if she needed it. No one but herself was rushing her back to work. In fact, her family was actively encouraging her to take more time. According to the friendlier parents who were willing to keep the staff updated, Winter and Autumn were still the hot topic of conversation in the parent WhatsApp group and there was no sign of that changing. And Autumn knew that until she came back, until she showed the parents that she was not upset by their talk, they would never stop. And so after only two weeks out of work, she was going back.

When she told Marjorie and Reece about her plans to return to work the first thing they did, after she assured them she was not changing her mind on this, was offer her support. Reece offered to have Siobhan cover his nursery so that he could sit with her on her first few days back. Marjorie offered to sit at Agatha's desk every day so that none of the parents even set foot in the office. The offers were touching, but Autumn didn't want a babysitter, she didn't want the pitying looks that everyone gave her, she just wanted to get back to normal. Really she thought dealing with the more difficult parents would be good for her; it had been far too long since she'd had a bat in her hands.

Monday finally rolled around and Autumn woke up an hour before the alarm was due to ring. She was on edge from the moment she opened her eyes. There was no way she was backing out now, she wanted to do this...she had to do this, but that didn't stop her mind from spiraling as she thought about walking back into a building that was not only full of children, but was the same building where she felt the first pain. That building held some of her best memories; meeting the love of her life, meeting her best friend, reconnecting with her brother, telling him he was going to be an uncle; and now it also held her worst. The memory that overtook all others, the one that dominated her every waking moment and clouded all of her dreams. The memory she wanted so badly to move on from. She couldn't hide forever; and she didn't want to hide forever; but she also dreaded the moment that she would step through the doors. When all the memories would come flooding back, when her days would once again be underscored by the sounds of happy children. Sounds that were supposed to fill her own home. The laughs and cries that once filled her dreams now fueled her nightmares. Taunting her with what was supposed to be.

As she stood under the searing heat of the shower she felt the tears start to fall. She thought by now she'd be all cried out but these tears were different. These tears weren't all sad. There was sadness, there was anger, but there was also hope. Hope that this was finally the step that would make her feel like herself again. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that the second she walked through those nursery doors that Autumn would be just as protected as Winter had been. For weeks she'd heard Winter's stories about just how supportive the staff had been. Nearly every day he had a new tale about Carly catfishing as a new parent to join the WhatsApp and spread new gossip to get the subject away from Autumn, about Charlotte giving "mom lectures" in the hallway when she overheard even slightly unsavory remarks about the couple, or about Sorscha whose impeccable aim had been put to use when words just weren't enough to shut someone up. The Sorscha stories were always Autumn's favorites; she knew there was a reason she and Winter had such a great relationship with their Irish coworker.

A cup of coffee was waiting on the bathroom counter for her when she finally stepped out of the shower. She had stayed a little longer than normal waiting for her quiet sobs to finally die down. The first sip filled her with a warmth and determination as she thought about the man who had left it for her. The man who had surely heard her sobs, but knew her well enough to not bother her until she was ready. When she finally came out of the ensuite, wearing the robe and slippers that had been hung on the door for her after being warmed as they were every morning, she found Winter waiting for her on the bed. He gave her a weak smile as she sat next to him, letting her head fall onto his shoulder.