AHS One Shots {Tumblr Version}

Loving The Same

Based on my own experiences with being autistic. 

Autistic! Reader

Room 64 had never looked so messy. The beautiful, velvety curtains were ripped and thrown in the bath-tub, soaking in freezing cold water. The bed, just the same. Deep red bedding taking up half of the small tub. Odd bits and bobs were thrown on the ground. James' drinks were spilled on the lush carpet. The absinthe soaked the carpet, and the glass stuck in the same places.

Why was it so messy? Devil's Night never got this bad. You had a meltdown. None like before. Home was still the same. Never a chance to explode your feelings like you could at friends houses. But it was so different today. Maybe it was Sally always thrusting her phone your way, or the two girls who were always moaning, with blood over themselves. Your headphones were practically no use while you were sat in the lobby, and you ran up to James' room. The one person you needed at that moment, not to be found. It made your heartbeat quicken. Like it was going to explode out of your chest any second. It made you dizzy. It was upsetting, maddening. Everything was stuck on you.

Clothes.

Shoes.

The ground.

It was all stuck.

Everything felt like it was closing. Nothing helped. You couldn't steady your breathing. You couldn't steady yourself. Now on your hands and knees, eyes darting everywhere to feel some sense of balance. The goosebumps on your arms. You felt every single little goosebump. The pain has felt like it was risen to 100. So you stand up, and look down. Around. At yourself. Your hands, and knees felt the strength of the tiny glass shards.

This was it. Your ticket out. The glass that shattered because of your own destructive tendencies. The blood was running thickly down your legs and smeared itself around your hands as you picked up the biggest glass shard you could find.

"Darling?"

Shit. Nevermind. You thought. But it all hit your mind, the bloody glass shard in you hand, the tear pricks hitting your eyes, the bedding and curtains doing nothing but soaking in pure cold water. You were a deer in headlights. Everything hit you. Your laboured breathing just hitched as you dropped the glass and screamed as you started to cry.

James came in after talking to The Countess. He knew you were autistic. Not that he really knew what it meant, or what anything you said meant, but he adored you with his undead heart. He took one look at you and sat on his knees by your side, knowing not to touch you. "Darling...my love.."

"sh..shh." you whispered, shakily getting up and taking your phone out of your back pocket. It has a communication app for when you couldn't find yourself to say any words.

"Take your time my precious hummingbird."

Your heavy, and quick breaths slowed as you typed out your words.

'Everything.' the app spoke in a robotic voice. 'Everything hurts. It all happened quickly.'

"I know dear. Shh shh, I know. Can I touch you? Is that okay my love?"

'yes.' He nodded and picked you up. Instinctvely, your tired, weak, and reddend hands wrapped themselves around his neck. He stared at the room, still in shock, but carried you out. 'dark. Quiet. Room. Please.' You added in the app. James just walked down the hallway into another room and laid you down onto the bed, sitting on his knees at the side of the bed.

"What happened my darling? It's not been this bad before."

'felt it coming. Then. You weren't in your room. I exploded.' it made no sense in your head, but you tried to. Your legs felt numb, and your hands, the same.

"I'm sorry my dearest. I'm sorry I caused this. Stay here, we will stay here together. I'll tell everyone to clear the room up." You turned to your side and nodded as James kissed your forehead gently. "Let me go and get something for the blood." He disappeared for a few minutes. He came back with a damp paper towel, and a few bandages for your hands and knees.

"the water is warm. Iris told me it is." James took charge of the situation for you as you attempted to calm yourself with music in your headphones. Calm, soft music that you usually used. It took your attention while your boyfriend tried to clean your knees to the best of his talents. You were so glad you could touch ghosts. Your mind had settled as the music filled you with sleepy thoughts. It was lofi. A rare music type for you to listen to, but it helped.

"Thank you." you managed to breath out, your hands and knees now bandaged and clean.

"I love you my dear." He calmed. James moved around and sat next to you, resting his hand gently on your neck.

"I love you more."

"Please remember, I'll be here, okay? Always."