Implications || Buddie

Implications

"How do... What do we do now?"

"Honestly? I think we just give it a shot."

"Eds... can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I'm scared that we'll mess it up. What if we break up and we can't be friends after? I do want to give this a shot, but I don't want to chance losing you over it."

"I don't want to lose you either... We can take it slow. One step at a time. If at any point we have doubts, we'll talk about it. It's us, Buck. I think we can do it."

"Yeah, alright. Take it slow, talk about things. I think we can do it too."

"Do you wanna come in?" Buck has his hand on the door handle as he waits for Eddie to respond. It already feels like he's standing too close. He wants to grab him by his shirt and drag him in.

"Are you sure?"

"Eddie... you've been in my apartment before," He chuckles. He's actually been in his apartment multiple times since they decided to give this a shot. It was just always designated 'friend time.' Another thing they agreed to do to try and make sure their friendship stayed intact no matter what.

"I know but... what is it? Our fifth date. You're inviting me in and I feel like that has some implications... Not that- not that we'd have to do anything... I could just come in and talk. Shit that's probably what you meant. I- I'm overthinking this."

"What if..." Buck lifts his hand to the side of Eddie's waist, pulling him a half a step closer, "there were implications?" Buck sees Eddie's throat move as he swallows some air.

"I uhh... I thought you wanted to take things slow."

"I do, but like you said... fifth date. We just had a really nice dinner, some great conversation, and a nice drive back here. I don't think it's too quick to invite you in with some implications." And honestly, the whole moving slow thing just hasn't been feeling right. Not with Eddie. They already know each other so well. They're already so sure of their feelings. Moving slow for them should look different than moving slow for others. "So, do you want to come in?"

Eddie puts his hand on Buck's that's still on the doorknob, then starts to turn it without breaking his eye contact. Buck walks through the door backwards, dragging Eddie with him. Once they're both through, Eddie reaches behind him to close the door, then suddenly his back is against it. He's practically pinned to the door by Buck's hips, but he's not complaining. His hands are pressed back against the door like he's looking for something to grip, some sort of stability as Buck leans in, resting his forehead to his, noses brushing, lips parted.

Buck's heart is beating out of his goddamned chest, and he can feel Eddie's doing the same. He can't muster up the courage to close the space just yet. He rationalizes it by telling himself he's trying to savor the moment, but in reality, he's fucking terrifying.

The kissing isn't anything they haven't done before. Yes, they said they were going slow. The first two dates, they didn't kiss. But then the third came along, and they were sitting in the parking lot of Buck's apartment complex, and they thought a kiss goodnight would be nice, it'd be okay. It was okay, it was great... until they just couldn't stop. They made out in Buck's jeep for about five minutes until Buck finally pulled away and rushed inside like a giddy teenager. Eddie watched the whole way, then went to his truck and drove home.

However, there are a lot more steps to get from making out in the front seat of a car, to doing something more, (at least at their age, when they can no longer just hop in the back seat. At least not comfortably,) than steps to get from where they are now to doing more. Realistically, it's only one. Walking up the stairs. It's already so different. The sensation of being pressed against each other like this is something they had avoided. They had been moving slow and all of a sudden they weren't... all of a sudden they didn't want to anymore. It still isn't clear exactly where they go after this. Do they continue with moving 'slow?' Is this just a skip in some steps then they keep going as they were, or is this them setting a completely new pace. Both of them have it in their heads that they can talk about it later because they are both willing to do whatever the other wants.