oneshots & reacts; slytherin boys

F.M. | Restless Need

hey guys

im needing to pour some things out rn and the book that im writing is NOT the outlet for this so

back to slytherin boys oneshots for the time being

there is no upload schedule, literally just me spitting out stuff if i ever feel like it so dont expect any consistent updates or oneshots being reuploaded or series being finished

no warnings, other than yearning and drinking

There's heat all across your face. Sticky, disgusting heat, clinging to every line, ever crevice, ever pore. Mouth twisted into incongruous lines and a depiction of true desperation, you let salty-sweet water run along the seam of your lips, praying, begging for you to swallow this misery. Because you're crying. You're crying, and it's hot, it's ugly, it's everything you don't want your tears to be, messy and tenacious all down your cheeks in streaks of glistening trails. 

A hand in your hair doesn't stop it, yet you curl a fist, grinding your tight knuckles right against your skull, pulling your scalp taut in desperate attempt to just— stop.

You want him. You want him so much.

Nothing else had ever been like this before, nobody else had ever been like this before. Because yes, you've dated, and you've dated quite a lot. There's been boys with brown eyes before, and there's been boys with brown hair before. There's been tears, there's been smiles.

You just can't understand why this particular mix of brown eyes and brown hair — his mix, his everything — is the one on your mind all the time. You don't know why your skin itches this way, to just do something, anything, when he isn't around. Why you smile when you think of things he's said, why you imagine everything you could possibly do.

Holding hands is such a terrifying thing for you to try and accomplish, but you're already dreaming about spending Christmas together. Feeling his lips against yours is simultaneously your biggest dream and greatest nightmare, making you fear and want so so very hard. You can't look him in the eyes too long, and yet when you rest your weary head to sleep, all you can play through your mind is your hand on his cheeks and those gorgeous eyes staring straight at you.

So you grip the bottle tighter.

With a swift swig, the bottom tips right up, and the burn of shitty vodka scratches down the back of your throat, making you heave and gag in time with the glass dunking back on the carpeted floor. It burns a little bit, but you ignore just how annoying it is in favour of the feeble attempt to get so drunk as to forget this.... whatever it is you're doing.

A sob, clogged and firey, escapes your throat, and you wash it down with even more vodka. Everything is so different, from the parties you go to to catch a glimpse of him, to the ardent feeling scratching at you from all over, clawing.

"Y/N?" 

And this is exactly what you didn't want. 

With your hair sprawled right across your eyes, clinging to the tear tracks down your face, you tip your chin back, looking right up at the shaded silhouette of LFelix. His face in darkness, outlines in light, the outstretched hand he offers to you wretches a hiccup and violent cry from the depths of your chest.

"Y/N, are you okay?" His voice is gentle, everything soft that you know he's made of, everything warm, everything caring.

"F-fuck." You cry some more, because fuck. New things are terrifying. He's something new. And what you're feeling right now, feels so new and so unfamiliar that it's honestly quite unfair.

"Come here." His hand hooks around your bare arms, uncovered with the spaghetti straps of your dress, and your skin dances alive with his touch, rejoicing straight into the heavens when you're pulled into the curl of his now kneeling body. "It's okay."

"I want you." You breathe, shoving this need, this restless need, straight into every single word. They ring true with their meaning thrice, and you find yourself breathing it again. "I want you. I want you. I want you."

"Y/N—"

"You're like nobody else I have ever met before. I know more about you than I do about myself. I ache for you when I'm away, because for some reason, I miss you more than air. Everything is a little reminder of you, and I've memorised all the quotes from your favourite book. I catch all the stupid references you make, and even the dumb jokes you have with your friends can't even push me away. I crave to touch you, and I crave for you to touch me. I go absolutely insane when I have to spend time away from you, and yet all I ever think about is whether or not you need to be smothered with me and it all. I fear that I care for you much more than you care for me, and I fear I don't care about it, because you're the only one I can focus on. I want to be the person you need, and I want to be the girl you kiss, and I want to be the one you make love to. I want to trust you with everything I have and get that in return. All because I think about you 24/7."

The restless need only burns brighter, momentarily humoured when his lips touch on yours at long last.

A/N:

wc; 1,018

I'm going to be super honest, that was quite a short one. ive been needing to get my thoughts and feelins out, and shit, it was so fucking hard to not write the name i actually wanted to this whole time. this isn't so much an x reader as it is everything i am; this is me and this is what he makes me feel. i think about him all the time, and yet nothing scares me more. this feeling is so new, and so terrifying, but for him i can't help but think i will fight the coward ive always been just to get somewhere with us.

fuckin hate this shit

i fuckin like you so much L