Lacey

29

I'VE NEVER HAD such a weird few weeks.

i'm so utterly confused by Stefan. he's been treating me like a little girl, like he did when i was small. The confusing part is that even though he's 100% nicer, he's been 100% meaner. i don't understand.

as punishment for eating his gummy bear, which i later found out as an edible, which means drugs, he took away every single thing that made living here bearable. He took away my painkillers, he took away my oxy and he even hid all the razors and sharp objects. Along with that, he stopped giving me the pills that he used to make me take after he was done with me. i've literally never been in this much pain. i've never begged him to stop like this before. i've never cried like this. it feels like i'm being tortured.

what makes everything worse is that when he's not using me, he's being exceptionally caring. he holds me after, he strokes my hair, he brings me to the couch for a change of scenery. he walked in on me crying a week ago, and instead of hitting me, he pulled me into his lap and told me i was going to be okay. i feel so guilty for hating him. the voice isn't helping.

i look up at him as he gets off of me and stands. i can't seem to stop sobbing. i turn to my side and bring my knees to my chest, trying to cover myself. exposed, embarrassed, vulnerable... all things that i didn't feel before, but now feel overwhelmingly. i hate that he's seeing me.

Stefan frowns and pulls me into a sitting position. i bring my arms up to cover my chest. he gently pulls an oversized t shirt over my head and pulls my hair back into a low ponytail. i still can't stop crying. everything hurts.

"sweetheart you're okay" he says softly, sitting down next to me and pulling me into his side. he runs his fingers through my hair and continues to whisper soothing words. i eventually stop crying but the tears are replaced with this giant pit in my stomach.

"he wants you to be okay. he cares."

i hate that he's holding me, but i also i hate that i don't hate that he's hold me. i hate him but i also hate that i don't hate him.

"better?" he asks quietly, tilting my face up to meet his and wiping away the tears left on my face with his thumb. i shake my head. he sighs. "C'mon sweetheart i'm trying here. what can i do?" i don't respond. i don't know how to.

"hes trying his best what more can you ask for? greedy brat."

"are you hungry?" i shake my head, i'm so nauseous, i would throw up anything i ate. "thirsty?" i hesitate before i nod.

"sleep" i mumble, my voice raw and scratchy. "please?" i plead, hoping he'll give in. i can't sleep anymore. not with the pain. Stefan tried to refuse sleeping pills as well, as a part of my punishment, but after the first full week of my going without sleep, he gave in. i get them a few times a week.

he sighs reluctantly and nods, "alright." he's back within five minutes with a glass of water and a little white pill. i take it and immediately sigh in relief. it hasn't kicking in yet, obviously, but i know it will and i can't wait. Stefan helps me back into the bed then crawls in behind me, wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling my back against his chest.

It took me two weeks to track down Stef's address without Nisha's help. We still aren't speaking, and I refuse to ask her for anything. Now, as I pull up to the complex, I recognize it as the same building where we found Lacey that one time. The memory of her in that state, coming out of his building, only makes my curiosity stronger.

I don't bother acknowledging the receptionist as she greets me. i have shit to do. I step into the elevator and hit the button for the penthouse. As the doors close, I start pacing, trying to shake off the rising frustration. What the hell am I even going to say? She quit because she didn't want to see me, and now I'm showing up at her door? The thought makes me feel stupid—like I'm making a mistake—but the elevator dings, and it's too late to turn back.

Without hesitation, I knock on the door, calm at first. No response.

My impatience grows, and I pound harder. Finally, Stefan opens the door, looking half-asleep.

It's two in the fucking afternoon.

"Where is she? Is she okay?" I demand, not giving him time to say anything else.

"Mayella?" he asks, rubbing his eyes like he's just rolled out of bed.

"No, your fucking hooker," I deadpan. "Yes, Maya—Lacey—where is she?"

"She's fine, Ian, she's asleep," he says, clearly irritated.

"Wake her up," I snap, pushing past him into the apartment. He shakes his head, but I cut him off before he can respond. "I wasn't asking. Either wake her up, or I'll find her and do it myself." When he doesn't move, I start opening doors—first a closet, then a bathroom, then an empty bedroom—until I finally find her. She's curled up on the bed, fast asleep, her small frame barely making a dent in the mattress.

I step into the room, but Stefan tries to block me. My nostrils flare in annoyance. "I swear to God, Stefano..."

"Let the girl rest," he mutters, trying to reason with me.

I scoff and push him aside with one hand. Approaching the bed, I crouch down beside her and shake her gently. "Lacey, baby, wake up for me." No response. I shake her more firmly, but she still doesn't stir. That's when I notice the bruises on her neck. A slow burn of white-hot rage creeps up my spine.

"Is she drugged?" I ask, forcing my voice to stay calm, like I'm just curious. Losing my temper won't get me the answer I need.

"Just some sleeping pills," he shrugs, like it's nothing. "She'll be out until tomorrow morning, at least." He even smiles, like he's doing her a favor. It makes me sick.

I reach down and carefully pick her up, draping her arms around my neck. Her head rests against my shoulder, and I hold her securely on my hip, making sure she's not limp or uncomfortable. I don't say a word to Stefan as I head toward the door.

I knew he'd follow. That's why I kept one hand free. Without a second thought, I press the cold barrel of my gun to his forehead. We stand frozen for what feels like an eternity but is only a few seconds. His eyes go wide with panic. "Y-you can't take her, I love he—"

I flick off the safety before he can finish. He shuts up immediately, his hands going up in surrender. That's what I fucking thought. Without looking back, I walk out of his apartment with Maya in my arms.

filler chapter i'm sorryyy