Sacrifices

Chapter 11: Ten Feet Under

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
With these waves crashing over my head

I know you didn't bring me out here to drown
So why am I ten feet under and upside down?
Barely surviving has become my purpose
Because I'm so used to living underneath the surface

-Storm, Lifehouse-

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It didn't matter.

Her hands scrabbled for purchase on the present as Jackie slipped through the fade. The feeling of Maxson's hands on her, ebbed away with her dwindling grasp on reality.

'This is our new home now.'

Beside her was weight and warmth. And she groped through the delirium, reached for him, grasping at nothing, feeling only the panicked thumping of her heart.

'Don't forget to breath.'

She strained for the calming words, with none to be given except an endless void of silence. The sudden harsh cadence of echoed footsteps snapped her to attention. Bright lights and sterile walls accompanied the hysteria of the vault. She was being guided down a corridor lined with pods as the earth rumbled beneath her feet and her vision tunneled. Focused only on the dark haired man, clad in bright blue and gold, who walked a pace ahead of her.

Nate.

Hushed reassurances were murmured to the small infant in his arms. Her baby. Her son.

'Shh… It'll be ok. Mommy's right here, see?'

Warm, kind brown eyes smiled down upon her as her small family came to rest at the end of the hall. Even at the world's end, those eyes held an eternity of love and devotion within them. Brown eyes had captured her heart and there, stuck in the endless loop of her nightmares, they had whispered promises of safety. Renewed her hope that they would be alright. Those eyes calmed her anxious thoughts about their future and reminded her that she was alive, that she was still breathing, and that she wasn't alone.

But it was lie.

She wrestled with the inevitable, tried to deviate, yet there was nothing she could do to stop it.

This wasn't real, but she was shamed into reliving this moment, again.

The cavity of grief threatened to swallow her and she desperately tried to scream at her husband that it was a trap. That they would be better off crawling back to the surface to suffer the grisly death of nuclear fallout, but her body was stuck on autopilot. Her limbs stiff and acting of their own violation, following the hollow echo of their predetermined fate.

A hand rested on the tiny body as she comforted her son. She should have snatched him up, Nate would have been so much better equipped to handle the fall of man. Even though she tried to alter their future, let it be her instead of him, the chains of time bound her to the wasteland.

Misty eyes drifted upward, fearful of the unknown, unsure of what would happen to them now, she sought solace from the hauntingly beautiful man. The cocky soldier who laughed too much and screwed around because he could. Because he understood that life was fleeting and precious. The man who had given up his career, and never looked back, because he had fallen hopelessly in love with her. The man who had given her everything she didn't deserve, including a precious baby boy.