"Do you like the place?" Gianna asked with that flirtatious edge in her voice. I could practically hear the smirk on her lips without even looking.
"Fine," I managed, my tone flat and distant. I've been dodging this date for what felt like forever, but Adrian kept pushing, insisting we'd hit it off. The last thing I want is to juggle a relationship—especially with someone I didn't choose. I hadn't been single because I couldn't find someone; I was single because I didn't want someone.
"You're not much of a word person, huh?" She toyed with the olive perched on her martini glass, lifting it slowly to her mouth in some overplayed, seductive move. Typical. Couldn't women think of a new trick? This felt like something straight out of the '60s. I stifled a yawn, bored out of my skull. God, I was tired.
Back-to-back meetings all day, redoing storylines, restructuring character models—it was exhausting. Depth. I needed depth. Especially if I was going to survive an hour with someone.
"So, does Adrian talk to you much about me?" Gianna's voice broke through my thoughts as she twirled her freshly done hair.
"Just here and there. Why don't you give me the 411." I leaned back in my chair, trying to make this easier on myself.
Gianna giggled, actually blushing. "Awww... that's sweet."
Sweet, my ass. I glanced at my watch. Ten minutes. It's only been ten goddamn minutes.
"So, like, I'm 25. You're 30, right? I know."
Great start.
"So... you were probably a senior in high school when I was in middle school! Awwww... did you get to be prom king, Declan?"
Fuck my entire life.
I didn't even try to hide my frustration. "Hold that thought, Gianna." I stood up and headed straight for the balcony without giving her a chance to respond. The glass door clicked shut behind me, and I exhaled deeply, staring at the skyline of Shanghai lighting up the night. It was like one giant, flashing reminder of how far I'd run to escape... everything.
I pulled out my phone and dialled Adrian.
"Yo, Dec! Date ended already? I thought it started at 8:30?"
I let out a sneer. "Where did you find her? A box labelled '12 going 25'? She behaves like a teenage chick."
Adrian laughed, no doubt finding this hilarious. "She was highly recommended if you know what I mean—"
"Adrian, stop setting me up." I hung up before hearing his reply, my irritation bubbling over. Gripping the balcony railing, I shout, letting the frustration pour out. The city couldn't listen to me over the constant hum of life below, but it felt good to release it.
Then, it hit me. The trigger. That sound—her song.
"So how come when I reach out my fingers... it feels like more than distance between us..."
California King Bed. It was like a wrecking ball to my chest. That night—the night I still can't forget. The crowd's roar and adrenaline surged through me as we played at that Battle of the Bands. But my focus wasn't on the music or the people screaming our names. It was on her. Saskia.
I was trying to send a message with every note I sang and every chord I played. I belted out My California Kiiiiiiingggg, pouring everything into that song, hoping she'd hear and feel it. She'd understand what I couldn't say out loud—that my heart had always been hers. But how could I? She was my best friend's sister. I had no right.
I shook my head, gripping the railing tighter. The move to China... everyone thought it was about game development and Asian economics. But the truth? It was an escape. A way to run from Saskia and everything I felt for her.
I made the biggest mistake of my life, Sera.
Sera was the distraction I ran to, thinking I could bury my feelings for Saskia. And now she's gone. Taken by something none of us could've seen coming. I can't apologise for what I did to Sera. She didn't deserve to be second to anyone, least of all someone I never dared to love.
But the guilt? It lingers. And the feelings for Saskia? They never left.
I leaned forward, looking out over the city lights, feeling the weight of it all crashing down on me again.
If only she knew.
