il mio primo e ultimo amore

Once Upon A Broken Heart

"What is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and still lives?"

"Ti amo cosi tanto."

Another tear stains the pillow.

Her arm is stretched out, the bottle nearly empty, IV's attached, hand resting on her stomach.

Her tongue feels heavy in her mouth yet, sobs threaten to slip.

Her mind drifts back to the night when she was ranting, cursing Cassio for ruining her wedding, craving the thrill of adrenaline-fueled missions and shoot-outs.

And he was fearing this.

This, but her.

Her in his place.

And now she's gripping the sheets tightly, looking away, another tear travels down to the pillow.

She avoids the clock.

Aware that each moment slipping by only tightens her chest.

Knowing how much time has passed–is passing on, just makes it harder to breathe.

How much more time will it take, shall pass, to see him again?

Alive. Breathing.

Hers.

And she also needs to remember it's not only about her now.

It's the fruit of their love she's carrying within her.

That helps her push the pain away.

She stands firm right on the edge of the cliff, desperately holding herself back from the pressure, the urge to fall.

She hears the door open, and she looks up to see her doctor entering, smiling brightly, as if nothing has happened in the past hours.

"Signora Cassano, how are you doing?" Doctor Rossi, her obstetrician asks as she helps her sit down.

Cha Young tries to reciprocate her smile.

While wearing that same smile, Rossi says

"Be strong."

Cha Young nods, speaking for the first time in a while.

"I am trying."

"You hold power, you hold faith, you hold hope, you hold love." Rossi says, her tone firm yet gentle, filled with conviction.

Cha Young listens, half lost in her muse, half attentive to her words.

"And when you carry all these things with you close, nothing can go wrong."

"But my soul has shattered." Cha Young replies, her voice barely a whisper, eyes fixed on the ceiling as if seeking answers there.

The doctor smiles gently.

"È un'anima che abita in due corpi." She quotes, her voice soft. Cha Young remembers hearing this in her literature classes, proverbs and poetry she had a hard time pronouncing.

"If he holds your soul, you hold his."

She looks away, heart aching, something new blooming.

"Hold it close and tightly. His existence depends on yours and.." She places her hand on her stomach.