Giving it All Away

Mistaken

Marley POV
Ryder and I were at Breadstix. We were on our (I don't know, tenth?) date, and I was wearing a maroon and black zig zag dress a and jean vest. I wore black flats and a bright bright smile.

We had found love again, after the rocky restart of our relationship. We had still only had sex once; we became a little more distant because of our prior breakup. We had to start over, and I didn't want to make the same mistake, (not that I didn't trust him or that I think I can lose my virginity twice), and I still wasn't ready for levels of intimacy like that, but prom was in one week, and he was going to ask me.

But, beside the point. Anyway, we were at Breadstix and I didn't realize Jake was behind us. But he was, and he whispered in my ear, "Marley, please. We need to talk."
Startled, I accidentally hit Ryder in the face. To rub it into Jake's face, I say, "Oh, sorry, Babe. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that."
Before Ryder can say anything, I take his face into my hands and kiss him. "Can you order for me? I'm kind of busy right now," I say.
"Uh, okay. The usual?" I nod.

"What, Puckerman? Nothing you say is going to change my mind," I say harshly.
"Marley, hear me out, just come outside with me for a second."

"Ryder, I'll be a second, okay?" I say to my boyfriend.
He nods but looks a little concerned, seeing Jake.

We walk outside of Breadstix. "What do you want Jake? Nothing you are ever going to say is going to be worth my time."
"I just wanted to tell you that I want you back. The time we were dating was the time in my life where everything was good. I thought I had found true love. I had gotten out of my old ways of going after girl after girl after girl. You changed me, Marley. But I had to go and mess it up and want more and I cheated on you, and I've never regretted anything more in my life. I'm sorry Marley, I know you're on a date with Ryder and that you think you're in love. But, I think I love you, for once in my life, a girl I can actually wait for, one I will love forever. I love you, Marley," and with that, he kisses me and I pull away as soon as our lips make contact. I also slap him as hard as I can across the face.
"Just go back to your six hour phone call rule. You just ruined my date. And you think wrong, Jake Puckerman. I am in love with Ryder and I don't ever want to see you again," I say. Sobbing, I run back into the restaurant.

I grab my purse from next to Ryder and I say to him, "Ryder. I-I have to go. I-I'm sorry. I'm just gonna walk home, so, sorry about the bill, but, I have to go." I run out of the restaurant and run all the way home. By the time I get home, I've been running for about ten minutes straight and my makeup is running and I'm exhausted.

"M-mommy?" I walk into the living room to see my mom sitting in the couch, sleeping. I shake her awake. "Mom, please wake up."
Her eyes open and glare at me, "Marley Rose. I was sleeping and I'm exhausted from everyone calling me fat at school. I hate serving those little brats." When she sees me crying, her eyes don't glare and she looks at me with sympathy. "Oh, what's wrong, honey?"
I hug her and cry into her uniform. "I-I'm just really tired and. . ." I drift off.
"Marley, what's really wrong?"
"I-I, Jake told me he loved me, but I love Ryder. I know it. He loves me, and I just want Jake to get out of my life."
She wipes my tears away with a tissue. "Marley, I don't. . . I. . . Okay, imagine this, Marley." She takes my hand and wipes away loose hairs from my face. "Imagine your life as a magazine. You're on the cover of it, obviously. All of your imperfections, and all of your perfections. No photoshop on this cover. There are so many pages of pictures and words. Pictures of your friends, phrases about your insecurities. There is one fraction of a page that is about the very very few imperfections you think you have," she smiles at me, her smile full of kindness and hope. "The rest of the book is everything that is so great about you. But everything as a whole is what makes you you, Marley Rose. And in those pictures. Pictures of friends, past friends, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends... And if you want, you can cut out those pictures of those mean people, like Jake. Like that teacher who said you don't work hard enough when in reality, you are the most hardworking girl I know. Like that man at the ice cream truck who overcharged us." That last bit doesn't make me laugh, but it's enough to make me smile.

"Thank you, Mom. You always know how to make me smile. Thank you."

"Now go apologize to that Ryder. I can tell, unlike how I thought about Jake, that he is a genuinely really nice kid. Go tell him you love him." She lightly slaps my thigh and pushes me upstairs.

"Thanks, I will." I run upstairs and get my cell phone. I pace around my room until he picks up after two rings.

"I'm so sorry, Ryder. I was taking my anger out on you, and I really hope I didn't mess this up."

On the other end I hear rustling and a "Sorry, thank you!". "Um, I'm still at Breadstix and I'm super confused, what happened?"

"Jake asked me out again. And then he kissed me." I hear a sharp intake of breath following a sigh.

"And what did you say?"

"I pulled away and slapped him really hard. Then I told him that I love you, not him, and that I don't ever want to see him again."

After a pause, I hear a small laugh. "You know I was going to be mad until you said that last part." Another pause. "I brought all the food home. Do you want to finish our date at my place?"

"Pick me up on five minutes."

Later At The Lynn House
I was pushing my food under a leaf of lettuce. I wasn't really hungry, and all I had really been consuming for days was water. After the ten minute run, I was really light headed. My makeup had been messed up, but I decided instead of redoing it, I would just take all of my makeup off entirely.

"This is delicious," I lied.

He smiled. "I'm glad." He looked at me. "Are you okay? You look pale. If you're worried that I'm going to take your virginity today, you are wrong. We're taking it slow, remember?"

A rush of confusion passes through me. I had lost my virginity to him at Kitty's house just a few months ago. Had he been so drunk that he hadn't remembered? "We had sex at Kitty's house after the double date. Don't you remember? Were you too drunk to remember?"

A look of confusion fills his face as well until he laughs. "Don't you think I would remember having sex with the most beautiful girl in the world? No matter how drunk I had been? But I wasn't even drunk that day, you were."

Huh? Me? Drunk? I told him what I thought happened and he told me what really happened. It basically happened as I thought, except I was drunk, not him, and we didn't have sex, I probably dreamed we had sex. He told me I was moaning in my sleep. Then the realization hits me. "So, I'm still a virgin?" I croak.

"Unless you had sex with someone else when we weren't together," I shake my head, "then nope."

"Oh thank God. I hadn't told my mom yet and now I don't have to."

"Yeah. Okay, let's eat." I heard him say. I could only see black. "Marley? Marley, wake up."

The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed with Ryder and my mom sitting next to me.