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Lily | Alex
~~~
"THIEF."
"Excuse me?"
"Give. It. Back."
"Hold on. I'm speaking to Liliana, right? Two doors away, 201C?"
"Mhm. And I'm speaking to Alexander, from two doors away, 205C?"
"Yes, but you can call me Alex, if you want."
"I'm going to call you 'Thief', thief."
"What did I ever even do to you? Did I forget to return a polite smile when we walked past each other or something? Is that what this is about?"
"I may be many things, but a social pariah is not one of them. You offend me, thief."
"I swear you were the most normal person on our floor. Since when have you been calling innocent guys like me and threatening them over the phone?"
"Since you put my survival on the line. THIEF."
"I- What?"
"You heard me. But tell me, how does that poutine taste, huh?"
"Okay then, creep. How do you know what I'm eating?"
"Because you freaking stole my order!"
"Your order? Wait, oh my fu- Is this one of those things where you call someone saying that they got your order, and they feel bad and give it to you, but then you point at a camera and say it was a prank, all while taking the free food?"
"Excuse you-"
"Damn. Didn't peg you as the type, but don't judge a book by it's cover, I guess."
"I'm not- I'm not a book?"
"Okay, newspaper."
"Wait- What on Earth? Why are you switching the topic, thief? You've clearly stolen- oh my goodness. That means everything else is in there, even my mango salsa?"
"Uh...Haha, what? Um, no."
"Liar!"
"..."
"Oh my goodness, you're quickly finishing it all off, aren't you? Stop. STOP. Oh my gosh, give me my life back right now. STOP-"
"Were you always this dramatic?"
"And were you always this dense- wait, hold on, someone's at the door. Don't you dare cut the call, I'm not done with you."
"Yes, ma'am."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"Okay! I'm back."
"You sound happy."
"Would you rather I not be?"
"I meant, what a switch over. I'm thankful now that perhaps the girl I'd thought to be normal all this time but wasn't, won't come over and bite my head off."
"Yeah, not at least for now. Not when I've got, oh what does this say? Four cheese risotto? Hmm."
"Um. Okay then- Wait. Wait a minute. Did you just say risotto? Lilian?"
"And some chicken enchilada empanadas? Mhmm, okay, I like where this is going..."
"Holy sh- no, STOP! That was my order, dammit! Hey! HEY!"
"...And some plantain chips to go with?"
"NOOO."
"This just keeps getting better."
"My poor chips."
"..."
"You're finishing it all off, aren't you."
"Yeah- Wait, are you crying?"
"...No."
"If it makes you feel any better, there's a number scrawled at the bottom with a note that says, 'I love your voice, handsome. Would love to hear it in person... x-o, x-o, Florissa'. Want me to send it over?"
"...But have you actually finished all the plantain chips?"
"Just like how you finished all my mango salsa? Quite similarly."
"...Ugh. Fine, then. Send the note over. Might as well have a good time-"
"What?"
"-thinking about how at least one person out there appreciates me."
"Um, ahem. Okay."
"Keep your mind out of the gutter, Liliana."
"Keep your hands away from my food, Thief."
"That applies to you too."
"Sorry, I can't hear you over the noise of these deliciously crispy plantain chips. Tough luck, buddy."
"You know what? I think I heavily dislike you."
"Yeah? Well, to think I'd been upset over my order. This risotto is heaven!"
"Shut up."
"And the total bill was twice more than mine? Damn."
"You, sweetheart, are an utter sadist. Have a good day."
"And you, sweetheart, just sacrificed your precious feast of a lunch to said sadist."
"We do not talk about that."
"Yeah, can't talk at all actually. I got a lot of binge eating to do. Bye-bye, Thief!"
"You- hey! Hello?!"
"..."
"..."
---
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a/n: hello! welcome to 'apricity', and i hope you've liked the first chapter so far c:
also i was in my bio lecture when i wrote the outline for this instead of paying attention about how fungus reproduce, and i must have been slightly hungry because i clearly think through my stomach so don't mind me :')
