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Lily | Alex
~~~
"Did you get the note?"
"Hi, hello, how're you doing, Liliana?"
"Damn, okay. Your sarcasm is bleeding through the phone and leaking onto my floor."
"It's okay, I have Mr Clean on speed-dial."
"Haha, so funny. But if you must know, I'm doing fine. Actually, I feel quite content because now I know what I've been missing out on during my ordering-in sprees. All thanks to you."
"Your sadistic joy is bleeding through the phone and leaking onto my floor. Like, did you have to mention the food?"
"Yeah. I kinda did, actually."
"Free country, I guess. Anyway, won't you ask me how I'm doing?"
"Oh, but I don't need to ask. I already know that you haven't gotten over your plantain chips."
"You're a sadist, I tell you. With a capital S. No, scratch that. Sadist, all caps."
"You know, I do have a few belts sitting in the back of my closet, collecting dust. Hmm."
"I- Gosh. Okay, yeah. Wow. Never judge a book by it's cover-"
"I'm not-"
"-right, sorry, newspaper."
"My question still stands, Thief."
"Yeah, I- Thief?I'm the thief? After you stole something more valuable from me?"
"I'll have you know that you, not-so kind sir, stole it first."
"I didn't steal it, per se. The food-delivery gods simply wrote in the stars that your poutine and mango salsa had to land at my doorstep!"
"And the same gods wrote that you were to miss out on that amazing risotto?"
"Touché."
"I know. Still, you took it first, Thief One."
"Alright, Thief Two. Ah, look at us, two peas in a pod."
"Having the time of our lives."
"Was that sarcasm in a monotone voice? Gosh, please. You are trying to seduce me on this fine Thursday afternoon, aren't you? So you can invade my apartment and steal all my valuables?"
"Dang it. How'd you know?"
"I could hear the scheming wheels turning inside your pretty little head all the way through the phone. Also, joke's on you, all my most precious valuables are from the Dollar-store."
