Where I Want to Be

Chapter 9 - Wyatt

As Lilla walks away, I turn and walk back down the path to the locker room. I hated seeing her like that. Panic attacks suck ass. I wouldn't wish them on my worst enemy. I wonder if she actually enjoys doing events here after all? From working for my dad I know what it's like to be under pressure like that while trying to convince yourself this is actually what you want. I haven't really done that with the club yet but I think it's because I know this is only temporary.

I caddied for an early morning tee time and I am off the rest of the day. A lot of the golf assistants are off because they are limiting games today because of the big wedding tonight. I had planned to go get the boat and fish the rest of the day, but after what just happened with Lilla, I'm rethinking it. What if she has another panic attack? I know I showed her that coping mechanism but what if that isn't enough? The thought of leaving her all alone here when she might need me makes me sick. What the fuck is happening? I have never chosen a girl over fishing before. From the moment I saw Lilla at that welcome party my priorities have been completely changed.

"Yo, bro, you 'bout to head out?" Frank says as he busts through the door.

"Yeah, I'm done now. Got the rest of the day off."

"Listen, my dad called and apparently I'm invited to this wedding tonight. I tried to get out of it but he's been such an ass lately and won't let me. The bride's weird ass little sister has a crush on me and has practically fucking stalked me every summer. I know it's not really your scene but would you come to? Help me avoid the little bitch? She's creepy as hell. And there's an open baaarrr." He says bar in a sing-songy voice.

"Yeah sure I'll come." I say without hesitation. It's the perfect excuse to keep an eye on Lilla.

"That was too easy." Frank says and looks at me skeptically. "Weren't you going fishing today? You never choose anything over fishing, especially going to a social event. You feeling okay bro? Are you dying? Do I need to call 911?" He grabs my shoulders.

"Dude, chill the fuck out I'm not dying." I say and shrug him off. "The fishing Facebook page I'm on said that everyone has been getting skunked after the full moon. I was thinking about bailing anyway."

That was all technically true but I was still going to go and see if I could get a bite but Frank doesn't need to know that. I don't want him figuring out about my crush on Lilla. He will tease me endlessly and I don't want his middle school antics to scare her off.

"'Aight. if you say so. You got a suit down here? My mom says I have to wear one."

"No actually I don't. I planned to work and fish all summer. Fancy events never really crossed my mind."

"Meet me at my house at 2. I think one of my dad's suits would fit you. I gotta go work a shift at the golf store until then."

"Sounds good, man" I say and we do our "bro handshake" as Frank calls it.

After Frank leaves I check my watch, it's only 11. I could still get some surf fishing in but the beach is probably crowded from all the extra wedding guests. Besides, I would be too far from Lilla. What if she needs me again? I want her to be okay, but I also think I want her to need me. God, this girl has turned me into such a fucking simp.

I spend the rest of the afternoon feeling like a stalker as I roam around the area where the wedding is set up. I do my best to stay out of sight. It's insane how much money these people have. They are setting up real pieces of furniture, not just folding chairs and shit.

I finally catch a glance of Lilla and she is hurrying behind her bitchy boss with a clipboard in one hand and her phone pressed to her ear. She looks miserable. She can't be enjoying this. What if she hates the job so much she quits and leaves? My stomach flips. I have barely gotten to know her again. I don't want her to leave. Maybe I can help her be a reason to stay.