Separated hearts // Heehoon

14

⚠️SUICID AND ALL⚠️

Heeseung and Sunghoon were sitting by the lake for quite some time. Neither of them realised how much time had passed since they sat down together and ate their ramen.

They were sitting in comfortable silence before Heeseung spoke up.
"...so how are you feeling since....well you know....since you tried to-" "I'm Good."

That was all Sunghoon said to Heeseung. He didn't want to tell Heeseung the inner turmoil that was going on inside him since that day, not when everything went quiet since he sat down with Heeseung.

"Are you sure... I mean you must be pretty sad and depre-", "I'm fine Heeseung." "I just want to make sure you know....it's just something I or you shouldn't take lightly you know."

Sunghoon sighed, he didn't want to talk about his failed attempt at all, especially not with Heeseung. At least not right now.
"Can't we talk about something else? It's not like I tried it again"
It sounded like he thought that it's not a big deal which he doesn't. It was a big deal, he probably is depressed and suicidal but he didn't need to get reminded of that.

"No! Stop being so careless about it! You could've died! Don't you see how serious this is? You need help Sunghoon, professional help!"

"...don't you think I know that? Do you think I want to feel like I need to end my live? Of course you don't because you don't know what it feels like!" He said back to Heeseung, a bit meaner than he intended to. "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to make it sound like that...", Sunghoon apologised.

"It's okay....I guess you are right. I don't know anything about how you feel....but I want to know. I want to understand, so I can help you Sunghoon. I care about you...and I don't want to loose you...not now."
Heeseung said honestly, with a worried expression. His voice had trembled as he said it and his eyes were showing how scared Heeseung was and how much he cared about Sunghoon, that it hurt to even continue to look at him. Sunghoon looked down a moment before looking back up at Heeseung . He saw the pleading and worried expression on Heeseung's face. Sunghoon knew that everything Heeseung just said was true. It was the way Hesseung had said it. The way you could hear everything emotion, that was going on in him, in it. Sunghoon didn't know what to answer. Somehow he felt happy about Heeseung's confession. He felt happy that someone cared so deeply for him. So deeply that they didn't want to loose him, him out of all people. He was at loss of words, he didn't know how to answer Heeseung. He wanted to hug Heeseung and tell him how much that meant to him. How much he needed to hear that someone cared enough about him, to be worried about his well being but nothing came out. He didn't move an inch, he only looked at Heeseung before he spoke quietly.

"Thank you for coming back." Heeseung looked at him for a second before pulling him into a hug, a hug that Sunghoon needed more than anything at the moment but Heeseung would never know that.

".....why didn't you tell me that you needed someone.....I know we didn't talk anymore at that time and all...but that didn't mean i didn't care about you anymore and how you felt", Heeseung said while tightening his grip on Sunghoon.
Sunghoon only nodded against his shoulder, he didn't have the energy to answer.

"Just ask for help please...I want to help you Sunghoon. I don't want to loose you....", Heeseung said with a pleading voice while tightening his grip again. "I think....i do need your help", Sunghoon said quietly against Heeseung's shoulder. It was a bit muffled and hard to understand but Heeseung heard it nevertheless.

Soon light sniffles could be heard and Heeseung felt his shirt getting wet, it wasn't hard to tell that Sunghoon started to cry. Heeseung could kind imagine how hard it must have been for Sunghoon to admit that he needed help and to even say it out loud.

Heeseung continued to hold tightly onto Sunghoon, letting him cry into his shoulder. He listened to the younger's sniffles and how painful it sounded as if he had kept it all inside himself for years, it broke Heeseung heart knowing that Sunghoon had struggled alone for so many years, without someone to lean on and talk to.

After some minutes Sunghoon calmed down again, he didn't let go of Heeseung though but Heeseung didn't care, he was just happy to be able to help the younger through all of this so he could see him smile again like he did with him years ago. He wanted to see Sunghoon's bright smile again. The way his eyes would light up and almost close with every smile, it was the cutest thing for Heeseung. He wanted to see that smile again. That smile that would brighten up your day in seconds. He was determined to make sure Sunghoon would get that smile back, even if it was the last thing he would do.

"We'll get through this hoonie, together" Heeseung said quietly, while running his hands through the younger's hair. Sunghoon smiles into Heeseung's shoulder after hearing that nickname. He hasn't heard it in years, Heeseung gave it to him when they were in kindergarten. He was the only one who called him 'Hoonie' so it meant so much to him hearing it from him again.

"I promise to stay with you this time. I won't leave you alone again", Heeseung said while tightening his grip around him.

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I hope you enjoyed this because I kind enjoyed writing this chapter somehow.
I think I'm going to post 3 more chapters about this story before it'll be finished but I'm not sure yet since I don't know what end I want it to have oop🤭-

Song rec: Possibility - Lykke Li

Emy — 🐈‍⬛🤍🐧