So...my dad made me cry today...he was like talking about how he doesn't want me to give up on myself and I know for a fact that I already have...from the splitting headaches to constant stomach aches and nausea...to the feeling of my body slowly shutting off as I'm walking...or the struggle to focus getting harder day by day...my weak wrists and ankles...my chapped lips...
I know full well that even with therapy I won't be able to make it to my next birthday...I'm the shell of the person who I used to be...I've lost almost all my irl friends only 3 remain...and I barely communicate with them anymore they seem to be confused about the person who I've become...I know that at least one of them is scared of me I can tell by the way she acts towards me...but for some reason I don't really care about anything anymore...all I feel right now is an overwhelming sense of anxiety...
All I want right now is for it to all end...I want all this suffering to finally end...I want to be set free from this horrible body...I feel so trapped inside of it...a female, human body, it's pure torture...I want to be in the wild running around, not in a house surrounded by humans.
I've said this so many times, but I still maintain that humans are cruel and selfish creatures...they're killing this world only caring because they are suffering the consequences...
I hate all of humanity with a burning passion, they deserve to feel the same suffering as this planet has, they deserve to realize that it will never be okay, I will never forgive them, not for what they did to this planet and it's inhabitants.
