Everyone is going to leave me...
No matter what they will...
It's always like that...
I trust them and they ruin me...
Why do I trust them..?
Why do I care about them so much..?
I always conceal my emotions...my energetic personality when I'm alone and making fake scenarios...
I'm always so happy...
I always manage to find someone in that universe who would support me properly...
And not just call me lazy...like my grandma
Or make fun of me calling shit like the "depression queen"...like my brother
Remind me of when I was in better mental shape...like my parents...
I find someone in that universe who is an amazing sibling and someone who is a wonderful parent...I always have people who support me...
It feels like that is my way of comforting myself...
My grandma doesn't like how I shut myself out and do nothing...but I'm talking to people I like so I feel better about myself...
I always get told to ignore them...but that doesn't work...
Getting stared at...
Sure my body is interesting to them...but it just makes me feel insecure...makes me feel fat...I also feel like I'm something that they have sexual fantasies about sometimes...the way they stare at me like they're undressing me...
I love wearing what I want but I feel like I need to wear stuff that doesn't show much skin at this point...
Also this is day 3 of being sick and it's gotten worse...
