Lost Hope || Ellie Williams fanfic ||

chapter 2: polaroid

I grab the Polaroids and head back to my room. I sit at my desk and observe them all, making sure to check every detail of the photos. I wonder if I were to go to Jackson they would accept me. If I say I know Eugene would they let me? I doubt so. I grab a photo with the Ellie girl playing guitar, she's wearing a black and red plaided flannel and skinny jeans with her sleeves rolled up, revealing her tattoo. I couldn't help but admire the big moth on her arm. Reminding me of the art I do myself. I always did art but my parents never appreciated it, saying the world we live in today that talent wouldn't get me anywhere. I mean they are right so I stopped doing art as often, making me more attached to my bed.

I scroll through the other Polaroids analyzing them closely. I'm assuming these are all old since Ellie is supposed to be around my age or older and these photos she seems way younger, maybe around 15-16. An idea pops In my head, maybe I could leave home. I hated it here so much maybe I could have support in Jackson? That thought quickly goes away because they would kill me right away, there is no way they would accept an 18 year old. Lord knows if I survive the trip, all the raiders and Infected I would run into.

I go back to the guitar polaroid and grab out my journal, sketching her and her guitar while writing down notes.
"Big moth tattoo"
"Very pretty, seems creative"
"Connected to fireflies"
"Father figure named Joel"
I get done drawing, analyzing the drawing , not quite proud of it but I still keep it in my journal. I put the polaroids under my journal and keep the one guitar one in the journal, making small details. I was scared of getting caught, what my parents would do to me. It's not that I'm obsessed with her, I just want to be her, she seems to have the perfect life I always dreamed of.

Mom barges in my room, I quickly close my journal. "What the hell are you doing?" She said looking at me like I'm hiding something. "Diary, I'm journaling.." I say calmly, I really didn't wanna start a fight, especially over this. She then reminds me of the dance and how it's in 2 days and I need to ask Sophia.

I walk to Sophia's house, every breath I exhale making a cloud of smoke. It was late fall and everything was so cold, but everything always felt cold. I knocked on her door waiting for her to answer. She opened the door staring at me instantly shivering and folding her arms.
"Hey Sophia, I was wondering will you go to the dance with me? Like as a best friend i-"
"Of course I would go with you! You don't need to explain yourself!" She says smiling and looking at me. My heart flutters. My feelings for her have slowly faded away, but they are still there. She always talks about men, gross nasty men.  Sophia is a year younger than me but yet so energetic and full of life, the opposite of me. That's what I loved about her. She was the opposite.

"What dress are you wearing?" She says interrupting my thoughts.
"Same one I wear every year" I say taking a death breath and sighing.
"That dress always looks good on you, I don't get why your mom is so harsh on you about it"
"I don't get why she is either" I say playing with my hands.
"Well I gotta go, but see you at the dance?" I say smiling
"Of course love you bye!" Then closes her door.
I am relieved I did that, I walk back home looking back analyzing her  emotions and actions. I quickly regret how I acted. Was I too obvious? What if she sees me the way I see her? My thoughts racing and my head spinning. I finally make it to the front door coming in and quickly closing the door behind me.

I quickly remember the polaroids. "Shit" I say quietly. Mom doesn't notice or care, she's reading some book on the couch. I jogged to my room and took the Polaroids and put them back in dads spare room, where I found them. I get back to my room and sigh of relief. I jumped into my bed. I noticed it was starting to get quite dark fast, and I was getting tired. I fell asleep completely forgetting about the polaroid in my journal.