Lost Hope || Ellie Williams fanfic ||

home.

I was still restless. I know it was quite late. My stomach groaned of hunger and I went out to the kitchen. Hoping maybe a snack would calm me down and get me a little sleepy at least. "What are you doing up? You have gun practice tomorrow" my mom said getting up from the couch and walking towards me. "Can't sleep."
"So what? You wanna eat your ass off?"
"No I'm just hungry.." I say slight sadness in my words.
" You're hungry." She scoffs
"Yeah and?" I say in a slightly snappy tone, she constantly was so on to me about my shape, claiming I have to be built like I'm for this world.
"Put that shit down and go to bed before I drag your ass to bed" she says yelling. I didn't wanna fight , I put the granola bar down and walked to my room just for my dad to stop me at the door.
"What the hell was that about?" Dad says clearly pissed off.
"I was hungry and I wanted to get a snack but mom-" before I could finish he slapped me across my face. "Don't you ever disobey your mother like that! Just because you're an adult now  doesn't mean you rule everything, you know the basic rules" he snaps. I went past him to my room without saying a word, I didn't feel like fighting. 

Yep that was my parents, snappy and mean. I like to believe it's because of my sister, after she passed I know it changed them. It didn't really change me as I was 7 but I miss her sometimes. I hate to admit it but I miss her a lot I know dad and mom would be so different with her around. But now that she is gone dad and mom are like made of anger. We all are, including me.

I woke up to my mom telling me to get ready for gun practice. I actually fell asleep? I was shocked, I mean I was glad I slept but last night was rough, even though that's my life everyday. I threw on a T-shirt with a jacket over it, threw on some skinny jeans and put my hair in a ponytail. I began walking to gun practice. A guy walked up to me, " hey hazel where are you going?" He says looking at me up and down. "I uh-" before I could finish my mom walked up and said "gun practice, she is off limits right now." And drags me away, for the first time in forever my mom defended me against a dude. Usually she ags it on she says I need a man in my life, but I've never looked at a man before and felt love. Maybe I wasn't made for love.

"Thanks for saving my ass." I said walking into the range, it was a crappy wooden building with scraps and random shit things we had to shoot and aim at. I had been doing practice since I was 14 and yet my mom kept pushing it. I never understood why my mom wanted me to do this so badly if they won't even let me get my own house in the neighborhood, or go outside the gate. She claimed it was for protection, just in case someone betrayed us, infected somehow get in, or for self defense. I grabbed my gun out of my pocket and began shooting the targets knocking them all out right away. " I don't know why I still need to do this" I say reloading my gun. "Protection, after the dance you have one more session then we are done, but if you still want to come here you could randomly, practice makes perfect" she says putting her hands on my shoulder and smiling. I loved when my mom was kind, had that smile and that tone in her voice. I just don't get why it can't last forever. "What dance?" I said furrowing my eyebrows at her. I stayed in my room all day everyday. My parents couldn't stand it but I loved being alone. I disliked everyone I liked being alone with my bunny, he was quite the comfort. So I usually had no idea about these events and my mom would have to tell me days before them. "In three days, it's the fall dance, are you going?"
"Yeah maybe if I can find someone to take." I say putting my gun on the wooden ledge. "I'm sure plenty of guys wanna go out with you , especially that guy out there, he seemed to have the hots for you" she says before chuckling and winking at me. "God no I was thinking about bringing Sophia ." I say looking down. Sophia was my best friend but sometimes I wished for more. She makes me feel a way no guy has ever felt.
"Uh why." My mom says confused
"Like as friends, bestfriends" I say trying to lighten the mood. My mom sighs and goes to put more targets up. As I shoot I think of Sophia, how her blonde hair sits on her perfectly, how her brown eyes glow , how the few small freckles show in the summer time . She was perfect but I knew the way I was feeling wasn't right. I've always been told to like a guy. Not my girl best friend since I was 13.

After gun practice I walked home with Mom and immediately ran to bed jumping in it, hoping to clear the thoughts I shouldn't have. It was late afternoon and soon I was home alone. I walked to the spare room, I wanted to see the photos, I don't know why but I wanted to. I actually cared. I walked to the room picking up the photos and walking back to my room.