Spiral of Ants

The Wrong Side

Aseil and Mike have a chat that does not go well at ALL. I love them

As far as Aseil could tell, Aktal was keeping his word. Aseil felt tense when he was around, but his anxieties felt more natural now. Not the mortal terror that got stronger and stronger every time. Aktal had gone back to not really engaging with Aseil like he was a being worth talking to, but Aseil wasn't complaining. They were far past the point of making up and being buddy-buddy with each other anyhow.

Everything Aktal had told him brought up a whole different set of problems, however. He didn't say anything to Apollo, despite wanting too. He felt he should but he wasn't even sure how to approach it.

Apollo was gone again. Exploring like he often did. Aseil had gotten used to it, and with Aktal no longer bothering him like he was before, it was honestly fine. Other than the silence. His home was always very quiet when Apollo wasn't there.

One day after getting back from work, Aseil saw his microphone leaning against the wall. Aseil sighed, setting his bag on the sofa "What's the point of showing up in the microphone form? It's not less invasive, if that's what you're going for" He said, before heading into the kitchen.

"My apologies, Aseil" The microphone-turned-'human' said, following Aseil into the kitchen "I had thought it would be"

"Well, it's not. What are you even doing here? The whole Aktal thing is solved. Oh, that reminds me, you have some explaining to do" Aseil said, turning away from his fridge to finally face Mike properly.

"What would you like explained?" he asked. His tone and voice, as always, portraying not an ounce of personality, personal opinion, emotion or empathy. It never became less unnerving to Aseil.

"You remember before Apollo came here, right? I feel like knowing that him and Aktal were together would have been a little useful." Aseil said, frustration already seeping into his voice.

"I don't believe it would have been useful. I don't believe it is useful. Look at your state, Aseil. You haven't slept well since you found out. You aren't doing well. And you aren't telling Apollo. You understand my reasoning more than you care to admit"

Aseil hated this. Aseil hated that Mike was right. He was withholding information from Apollo the same way Mike was. No matter how much he wanted to argue, he knew the two had the same motivations. Protect Apollo.

"It doesn't matter" Aseil mumbled, heading back to his living room. "I'm not in danger anymore, Aktal and I came to a stalemate. So you don't have to be here"

"Aktal may no longer be actively hurting you but as I said, you are not doing well. I believe your stress and the pressure of what you have learned is taking a toll on you. Your health is important to Apollos well being"

"I'm doing fine, I just. Need a moment to process. And you being here isn't going to help whatever stress I'm under"

"I believe you are not thinking rationally. I wish to have a conversation with you and you refuse to consider what I have to say. If I could feel I'd almost call it frustrating. I have done nothing but try to assist you. I've tried to look at the situation from every which way and I still can not understand why you hate me so. Enlighten me, Aseil. What have I done to earn your distaste and distrust to this extent?" Mike said.

Aseil couldn't help but pause. Mikes tone was still as blank as ever, but his words were more... personal than Aseil had ever heard them. Or was that just him projecting human emotion onto Mike? Any which way it felt different.

He was too tired for this. He just wanted to come home, grab some food and go straight to bed. Not get stuck in this uncomfortable conversation.

He slumped onto the sofa and rubbed his face, trying to think of a way to explain that wouldn't just throw them into the same dialogue circles they've been having since their first encounter.

"I'm scared of you, alright? Lynn, he's not a bad person. You could have resolved that issue peacefully, but instead you trapped him in some messed up limbo for hundreds of years, because you felt it important to make a point. Even though Apollo wouldn't have wanted that. I get that you only do what you think is best for Apollo, but what is best for him, and what you think are best for him could be two entirely separate things. Apollo is a very... feelings forward person and you don't understand the first thing about that.

What happens when you believe I'm hindering Apollo? What happens when you no longer think I'm important to his well being? You'd hurt me in a second if you thought it was good for Apollo, no matter what he'd actually want in that situation. And I don't think you'd just leave it at taking me out of the equation, because I've seen what you do to people you believe have wronged him. You don't actually care about me, or my health, and you wouldn't feel any remorse if you decided to get rid of me"

Mike didn't respond. Simply watched Aseil, his expression the same as it had always been. No remorse, no guilt, no denial. Almost as if prodding Aseil with an 'and?'.

"I think You're worse than Aktal. Aktal is capable of empathy. He's capable of swallowing his pride and looking outside of himself. He's capable of acting outside of just self gain. Even if he doesn't usually choose to, he can . Between the two of you, I'd choose dealing with him. Not to mention it hurts seeing you and knowing you're a part of my boyfriend. Knowing that in his true form or whatever you're in there. And I hate that so much. I hate that your very existence means that Apollo might be more like Aktal then I want to admit. I don't like the things you make me think about. Everything is so much more complicated than I ever expected and you make it so much worse"

Still nothing for a long moment, before he finally said.

"Have you considered that if the Apollo you love would be colder when we are one, that perhaps I would be warmer? We are not meant to exist like this. He is broken, and has developed to adapt around his missing parts. You have seen this, and have helped him grow despite it. Similarly, I am broken and incomplete. I am missing the parts he has. He is missing the parts I have. I have done my best to grow around it and fulfill my purpose. You are simplifying everything down to your own narrow understanding of what makes a person. I am sorry that I have frightened you. I can not fully deny your conclusions or accusations. However I think you are deciding things you can not know. I may not feel the love and Apollo has for you. That does not mean I do not value it. I have come to help you however you may need. I see that at the moment you are not willing to accept that." He paused for a moment, perhaps to give Aseil a chance to speak, but he was speechless. So Mike continued.

"I will no longer be initiating contact, as per your obvious wish. You can, however, ask me for help if you change your mind. And for Apollos sake, I hope you do. He grows less and less ignorant by the day, and we will not be able to hide ugly things from him forever. So I would appreciate it if you could attempt to get over your hatred for me so we can work together more efficiently. Until then, it seems we have nothing else to say to one another" he said, before finally disappearing.

And Aseil was alone.