Beautiful Traitor | Reiner x OC 18+

9 [updated]

Past: Age 16

It's been about two weeks since Reiner and Bertholdt exposed themselves and fled from Paradis. I haven't left my room. I've barely slept or eaten, yet I still somehow have managed to shower.

I sit in a chair, staring outside the window at the foggy grey sky. The weather hasn't been great since that day. It's almost like the weather is taking pity on me by mirroring how I've been feeling lately.

I watch as the raindrops plop on the window before sliding down the glass. Blurring the view even more through the already thick fog.

The door creaks open behind me. I don't have to look to know it's Sasha. No one else has been in here since that day. I haven't been exactly pleasant to be around since then.

Sasha's footsteps lightly pad across the floorboards as she walks towards me.

"Blair." She calls out softly with a bit of hesitance.

I don't bother to acknowledge her.

She pulls a chair up next to me. "I brought you some food." She places a plate down gently on the windowsill in front of me.

"Why don't you eat something? I didn't sneak a bite this time." She says clearly trying to lighten the mood with that last sentence.

I don't even glance at the plate. "No thanks, I'm not really hungry." I mutter, my voice cracking, barely above a whisper.

I can feel her eyes on me as she watches me carefully. There's a heavy silence between us before she wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her warm embrace.

And that's when I finally break. For the first time since Reiner left, I cry.

My sobs are jagged, and my body shakes as I cling to her for support. It feels like hours have passed as my face is buried into her chest. My breaths are desperate as I gasp between sobs.

Sasha doesn't say a word and she doesn't have to as she holds me tightly in her arms. Rubbing my back to sooth me as I cry.

~~~~

Present: 22

It's been a week since the mission and I've been stuck in my room all alone trying to not go crazy from boredom.

Everyone has been ordered to leave me alone so my head can fully heal with no issues. I haven't seen anyone besides the doctor during my recovery.

But today I am finally cleared to get back to work. When I've finally finished getting ready for the day, there's a knock at the door. I walk over to open it, surprised to see Armin.

"Armin!" I say a little too excitedly as I hold the door open for him. The lack of human contact has really gotten to me.

"Come in." I motion him in before closing the door.

He walks over to my desk and sits in the chair with a small smile. "I wanted to be the first to check on you now that you're cleared to work again. It's been so boring without you."

I roll my eyes playfully as I sit in the chair opposite of him. "Yeah right. I bet you've barely noticed my absence." A smirk appears on my lips. "I bet you've been super busy catching up with Annie."

Armin's face immediately flushes. "Oh... well yeah, but you know." He stammers, trying to find the right words to say. "It—It's not really like that. We haven't talked much."

"Why not? What are you watching for?" I nearly shout.

He rubs the back of his neck, a strained awkward grin on his face. "I don't know... I'm not really sure what to say."

"Armin! What do you mean you don't know what to say? You've been visiting her almost everyday, talking to her while she was stuck in that fucking crystal."

He dodges my question, shifting the conversation. "Well, what about you and Reiner? You won't even talk to him."

"Yes I have." I hesitate, lowering my voice as I look to the side. "We actually kissed a few days ago."

His eyes bulge, widening in shock. "What!" Now it's his turn to talk a little too loudly.

"Yeah, but I kind of pushed him away and then Hange walked in. She didn't see us, but it was still kind of awkward. He left after, so we haven't had a chance to talk since then. I don't even know what I would say to him after that."

Armin leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. "Well, how do you feel about it?"

"I don't know...everything is just so complicated. I keep thinking about the past and everything that has happened." I pause, taking a second to sort out my feelings. "But...I still love him."

"Then why don't you just tell him how you feel? Your feelings for him obviously haven't gone away."

"I don't know. The thought of it all is just a bit nerve wracking."

Armin lets out a soft laugh. "Blair, there's nothing to be scared of. It's not like you're going in blind. You already know he loves you and wants you back." He gives me a little shrug. "Just be honest."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "Just like how you've been so honest with Annie right?"

Armin shakes his head, his face flushing again. "That's different, besides we are focusing on you and Reiner. What are you scared of?"

I look down, focusing on the floor before looking up at Armin again. "I don't know. What if he hurts me again? I can't go through that pain again."

"But what if he doesn't? You'll never know unless you give him a chance to prove himself. And for what it's worth, I think your pain hurts him more than it hurts you."

I quiet, contemplating as his words hang in the air.

"Look." Armin starts, as he begins to stand up. "Whatever you decide, I'll support your decision. But don't let your fears of the past stop you from having a happy future."

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Next chapter *wink wink*