PRETTY for a darkskin girl

Old Ties, New Beginnings

"Why are you so late?!" Kodi asks when I finally step through the front door. It took me two and a half hours to get home. I am beyond tired. "I had to walk." I answer. "Why? Winston ain't get you?" He asks getting mad. "He did." I say. "And what happened?" He questions raising his eyebrow. "We got into an argument and he kicked me out." I tell him. "I got him next time I see him. Ion care what happened, you don't just drop my sister off on the side of the road. ANYTHING could've happened to you." He says in a surprisingly calm tone of voice. I nod and head upstairs after grabbing a bottle of water.

I just feel like going to sleep and pretending that today didn't happen. I feel like I only stayed with Winston because I felt bad. He was being loyal and I was in a relationship with a whole nother guy, so in order to not feel guilty I had to pretend to be his perfect girlfriend and not hurt his feelings. We see how that turned out. I hate disappointing people but I just can't help doing it, so I try to make up for it by lying. I know I sound terrible, but I can't help it. I just wish things hadn't turned out the way they did.

* * * * *

After wrapping my hair in a towel, I put on black pom pom shorts with white cropped muscle tee that had eyes all over it with different mascara. I gather my things while waiting for my hair to dry a little. When I'm done putting curl definer in it I diffuse it and then slip on light blue low top vans.

"After school I got some words for you." Kodi tells me as we walk into school. My eyes widen but I try to act as if I have no idea why he would wanna talk. I'm gonna try to talk to Travis today. "Hey Austin." Hayden says. "Hey. Have you seen Travis?" I ask. "No. Ion think he coming to school today." He answers. "Oh okay thanks." I tell him walking off to class.

"Austin!" Tabitha calls as I walk to lunch. I sigh and turn around. "I just wanted to apologize for not telling you about Jason sooner." She says. "It's ok. I overreacted, I was just having a bad day." I tell her. "You wanna tell me about it?" She asks. I shake my head. "Nah." I answer. "Hey y'all." Zaria says smiling at us as she walks by. I roll my eyes. "Be nice." Tab whispers. "Heyyy Zaria." I say with a fake smile. "Where's your brother?" She asks. "I'm not sure." I answer mentally rolling my eyes. "Oh alright." She says waking away. "We have gotta get Kodi a new girlfriend." I tell Tab as we enter the lunch line. She laughs. "Zaria is not that bad. At least she's nice." Tabitha tries to convince me. I shake my head. "No she's ratchet!" I say.

"So you a hoe now?" Kodi asks me in the car on the way home. "What? No." I answer. "So why you had a nineteen year old side piece while you was with Winston?" He asks looking at me. "I.. You wouldn't understand." I answer. "So make me understand!" He yells. "I don't know! He was just super smooth and hard to say no to, and I guess I just wanted attention." I tell him. "So when did you have time to see this Xavier person?" Kodi asks. "Whenever you thought I was with Winston I was really with him." I answer. "So you was being a hoe, lying to Winston AND lying to me?!" He yells. "Could you stop calling me that?" I ask quietly. "What, a hoe? No! Cuz you kissed Travis when you had two other niqqas. That's called being a hoe! He shouts. "I just can't believe you." He says as we walk into the house.

"I wish none of this would've happened, I just feel so terrible and you're not helping. Travis isn't talking to me anymore, Winston hates me, and I'm growing apart from my friends. I just wanted some attention and now I'm all alone." I say as tears stream down my face. Kodi sighs and wraps his arms around me. "Austin I'm sorry. I know I'm kinda hard on you sometimes but I just want the best for you, and what you did is not ok." He tells me. "I know you do, and I'm sorry for lying to you." I say. "You needa be apologizing to Winston." He says. "Yeah. I'll try." I say. "Aight, I love you." Kodi tells me wiping my tears. "I love you too." I say.

When I get into my room I call Winston, hoping that he might pick up the phone. "Hello?" I say. "Watchu want?" He asks rudely. I was expecting that. "I-I just wanted to apologize. It's not fair that I was playing you the whole time. I feel terrible. I know this probably isn't gonna change anything but I was just hoping that you would accept my apology." I tell him. Silence. "Winston?" I ask looking to see if he hung up. "I'm still here Austin. Still here just like I was the whole time you was out doing wrong. You're right, this doesn't change anything but I forgive you. I wish you the best and I hope whoever you end up with next don't gotta go through yo bullshit."-click. Ouch. That hurt, but I'm not sure what I was expecting.