Where families Meet KTH FF

1

Hey there, It's been a long I have visited this secret chain of my daily lives which I especially preserve it to myself and you. It's not like I have a hobby of writing my struggles in here but I just want to remind myself in the next 10 years when I will open this diary of mine and get to know about all those shits I gone through.
Dear Diary, today once again I felt the need to say that I am nothing but a living robot.
No matter how much I try, I have to compromise. It's all these little things which one day gonna turn into a huge obstacle. Today I saw my own mother loving my younger sister Anna and showing affectionate gestures while I was at the corner watching them. Once again, Being Elder sister sucks.. it's like I am chained into a life cycle which includes, eating, sleeping, working.. that's it. I got no friends to hang out..even if I do have one of my bestie...that bitch has to live 15 km away from me. It's not easy to express my feelings through online by texting her.. but I think I should be grateful that atleast I have someone in my life..
Welp-.. that's what my parents have taught me PRACTICALLY on how I should give up on things for others and be grateful on littlest things. Funny but true.
Anyway, Let's catch up later cause I got dishes to do and I already know you know that if I don't do dishes, I am gonna heard endless taunts. *Sigh* Meet you later buddy.. and..last but not least...Keep it up Sarah, You can do it!

I sighed and close my diary which I have been using since 5 years.. funny, I don't journal that much but it would intrigued you to know that every pages of this diary is filled with my sorrowness. One who gets the audacity to read my diary will be crying on my fate but that won't happen.. No one would give a fuck to even open this weary, old diary of mine. Sup guys, I am Sarah and well..welcome to my life which is filled with all of those little things which might irritate you about me.
I am boring, but I like it that way. Actually wait-...
"I am not boring at all dude." I muttered to myself.. Can't interfere anymore.. People see me as the most boring and ambition less woman who don't know the basic elegance of a woman.
Anyway, Let's not bore you with this shitty intro of mine and help me do my dishes... Bubye-

.................

"Did you heard?"
"About?" I couch beside my mother who was sitting on the couch while peeling ginger and garlics, her favourite soap opera deafening my ears.
"Anna told me something!" I wasn't curious... That shit spills every drama of her life to mom without having the fear to getting judged.. whereas me hesitate used to think twice before speaking about how my college days got spend. Before you guys raged me on this, I am telling this from am experience which I suffered years back which made me still to not speak a single thing about me to my mom. Yeah, that's why that bitch of my bestie exists.

"She likes a guy.....

"SHE WHAT?"

SHE LITTERALY WHAT??? I look at my mom with balled eyes prolly filled with disbelief of something I never knew could have done!
My. Sister. Who. Is. 6. Years. Younger. Than. Me. Liked who?

"Who's it?" I was definitely curious..no! Actually it was eating me up to know who's the guy..."she said he's from a wealthy family and they both were university mates."

I fucking swear.

"Where's she?" I need to know Asap about that guy and I could only find it out once I take a hold of Ana who I don't know where the fuck she is at... "She's at her room, and as far as I heard her, she talked about mutual Choices between them."

Hold up, mutual Choices on WHAT?

"Let me have a talk with her!"

............

"what's the formula of A²+B²"

"Wha-...

I throw a pillow at the girl who groaned loudly, her phone felling from her hand on the bed, yup, definitely what I not expected.
"You don't even know the spelling of relationship and you are here talking about some mutual Choices shit with some shitty playboys?"

"SARAH! DON'T COMPARE HIM WITH YOUR HUSBAND."
"You. Ungrateful. Brat." I narrowed my eyes at the girl who seems to be too defensive for that defected guy I never knew existed.
"What's his name?" I deadpanned
"Jungkook..." She grumbly muttered, having her phone back on her palm...
"Jungcock-..?

"JUNGKOOK!!"

"And are you guys together?" I was ready to hear her saying not yet..-

"It's our 5 years aniversary together today!"

This world is about to end for sure... The way I was shocked, I doubt I was this paranoid during my last sem exams pressure the way I am here.... All the time I thought her as the nonchalant stupid mindless brat, turns out to be a loyal lover...

And I don't know why I am feeling pained to acknowledge the fact that my little sister have a boyfriend.... Is it my pride which got crashed cause I never had a single flinge all these years of mine? Or the fact that she can pull guys better than me? Not to forget keeping it long lasting!
"You wanna see him?" I divert my gaze towards her who was staring at me nonchalant as if least caring about the fact that I disapprove this relationship.
"No..thanks!" I make my way towards my room without hearing any explanation which I know she won't speak any off.

Things didn't had to take a turn like this... I was frustrated. Why? Maybe because, back then when I was at her age, I had a strict almost threatful rule to never have eyes on boys. I was taught to be a clean girl, being an elder child... during my teenage age, my parents had a lot of suspicion that I was caught in a flinge but I used to prove them wrong everytime.... Over years, they learn that I could never do such shameful acts and that's how they turn a blind eye when Anna gone through same phrase as mine.. she never got rules, threatening or any limitations, unlike me!
Funny, how it's been only me who compromised all the way. And I think it's never ending.

But hey, let's look at the glimpse of some pitfalls on how I taught myself to be independent and a mindset of
'handling things alone' It's depressingly cool to have such mindset and I think it's common among other first borns out there. Am I right?

Currently, I was scrolling through my laptop searching for some out of working hour jobs.. a small startups I could get a part off with the lowest investment available... It's not like I am unemployed...I did give a resume on top business contracts which wanna hire freelancers like me!!

It's a pros for me to know psychological stuff along with commerce and trades which I learned in my high school. Not being a greedy person, I even applied a job for a teacher which I will compare later to see which one gives the best service along with salary so that I can go for the latter and reject the other.

I AM JUST TOO EXPERIMENTAL-

Let's be honest, I want blind money, and blind money as if the money which I EARNS through my own hardwork. And I could litteraly do anything to earn money, well until it doesn't point on my self respect.. like, I am this much desperate that I am ready to have multiple jobs so that I can have money.
Don't ask me why. We are from a middle class and that's the very big reason why I want this. I am expensive and I admit that I want things which can't be done by my parents who are already fed-up from my never ending spending.
So I decided to take this matter in my hand.

Picking up my phone, I look down and saw plenty of messages from my bitch who looks like has some hot gossip to share....but welp, no!

It was her usual obsession with weirdly addictive tattooed men's who doesn't even know her existence.. she finds them on reels and decide to show me as well... And then from there, we start talking about her future with them. As much as it sounds crazy, it would sound more hilarious if you go through our chats which bestows the darkest secrets and mysteries than the Bermuda triangle and Area 21.

Giving crazy ass replies back with a grin, I turn my phone off and decide to sleep as I got nothing else to do.. starting my next day with a small journal note...

Hopefully I try catching up with my journalism habit.

Till then, bye..take care!

TBC