You Young Wild Thing

When You Were Happy

When chocolate pudding and craft Mac n cheese were considered the finest of cuisines
When there was no difference between camping in the backyard and actually camping in the woods
When there were no small things in life because everything was always big

When grades never mattered
When reality was never spoken beyond that of a mere whisper
Shared only between adults
When pills weren't what filled the insides of cabinets
When instead there were Spider-Man bandaids

When all sharp things were hidden from you because you would always cut your hair
And not your wrists
When all your scars came from sports
And not from your own two hands
When you were happy

You were six maybe younger
and your father would pick you up from school
He'd hold you and remind you that he loves you
Leaving out the details that in a few short years
He wouldn't be your father anymore
For now he holds your hand
He is your hero
And you, with your big bug-eyed expression and love filled heart look to him and tell him that
In a few short years you won't recognize him
But today you love him
Today he is your everything

Your mother calls you on the landline
And she too, tells you she loves you
Leaving out the details that she is not happy
She is a broken and battered woman
You think you love her now
Though deep down you find her to be too much
This is why you like dad
He's nice
In a few short years you will discover your mother survived the unthinkable
You'll gain a whole new respect for her
But you will lose
You will lose a lot

Your brother, he's your favorite human
For now he is kind and he loves you
His voice is little, it fills you with the fuzzies
He laughs and he follows you and he loves you
But he does not tell you that in a few short years
He will chase you with a knife
And he will threaten your life
You will grow to fear him
And he'll become your biggest bully
Things will never be the same
So, hold his hand more
And offer him all the hugs you can
Because one day he won't want them anymore

And then there's you
A little kid with long, shaggy, brown hair
And beautiful blue eyes
And perfect clear skin
Now you love yourself
You remind yourself of all the love you have
Leaving out everything you lack
Leaving out how you'll grow to hate yourself
In a few short years the mirror will be your enemy
And eating will take all the energy you never have
Your skin will dry out and turn to rash
So, take care of yourself for me
Because soon your life as you know it will burn down
Soon you will lose
And you will lose a lot

Now you will be excited to wake up early
And you will wish school lasted longer
Your brother will say hi from across the hall
Your dad is your hero
He will tuck you in at night
And kiss you goodbye
Your mom will smile through tears
And you will be angry when she yells
You will love yourself
And the way your eyes look
But in a few short years this will all be over
You will lose
And you will lose a lot

For now you will be happy
And that is good
Stay happy for as long as time will allow
Just do me a favor and take the time to enjoy dad's root beer floats
And French toast sticks
The ones with way too much syrup
And the ice cream you share
Sing, "a bite for you, a bite for you, and a bite for me" with a little more jazz
And dance proud

Enjoy your mother's heartfelt silence
That is the greatest gift she has ever given you
Be kinder to her
Make her a card and make it yellow
Sing, "you are my sunshine" to her from the depths of your soul
And dance proud

Take your brother's hand and sit on the curb
Collect more cool cars for your cool car collection
Write more dinosaur stories
Collect more fingerlings together
Laugh as you play
Make sure to grab the sleeping bags
And stay in his room forever
Make sure to tell him you love him
Draw his characters with him
And spend more time making his comic business
Tell him he'll be a star
And make a comic of your very own
Detailing your happy family
Mean everything you say
And dance proud

And you
You need to sing more
Take up dance lessons
Play baseball every day
Write more
Anything and everything you love
Do it
And do it from the depths of your soul
Dance proud

Dance proud today
Because tomorrow the music will stop
And you won't be dancing anymore
This bliss won't last
Though it never does
So, make the most of it
Make the most of all of it

I love you.