Mera Rangsaaz

Chapter 19

Tara

I almost run downstairs knowing I am late. As I enter the kitchen, I see Asha bhabhi working while her one hand rests on her bump. She's five months pregnant right now. I look at her with aw. She is literally glowing. I guess people are right about pregnancy glow.

"Bhabhi aap hatiye mein kardeti hoon" I say to her. She shouldn't be working too much at this time.

"Koi nahi Tara"

"Bhabhi mein karlungi" I say taking the knife from her. She keeps her other hand on my head and smiles. She is literally like my elder sister.

"Aagyi maharani" my mother in law says entering the kitchen. I touch her feet ignoring her taunt. I always ignore them and don't tell them to anyone since my mother taught me sometimes we have to be quiet to maintain the peace. But what about the peace of my mind?

I go back to doing my work while my mother in law watches us.

"Asha toh shaadi ke 3 mahine baad hi pett se hogyi thi. Aur ek tu hai"

I continue to work.

"Yeh toh dusri baar bhi hogayi"

"Ma ji rehne dijiye" Asha bhabhi says intervening. My mother in law loves to taunt me about how I am still not pregnant. How do I explain her? I tried giving hints to my husband but he is adamant on his decision.

"Aree kaise rehne du? Ek saal hogye shaadi ko aur abhi tak koi khush khabri nahi. Din bhar toh yeh mere Veer se chipki fhirti hai."

"Ma wo-" I try to explain her.

"Rehne de Tara. Mujhe toh pata hi tha ki tu mere bete ke layak nahi. Pata nahi kis banjh se shaadi Karadi"

"Maaji aap yeh kya keh rahi hai?!" Asha bhabhi says shocked.

"Sahi hi keh rahi mera bas chale toh aaj hi apne Veer ki dusri shaadi karadu" she says and goes away. I try to control my tears but they slip away. Her taunts hurt me. Asha bhabhi keeps her hand on my shoulder but I continue to do my work not having the courage to face her.

"Tara" she says turning me to face her. I know my face is tear stricken. She hugs me rubbing my back and I hold her tightly while crying.

"Bhabhi unko abhi baccha nahi chahiye isiliye.."

"Pata hai mujhe Tara" she says patting my head. I already told her about our situation.

I want kid. Even more after seeing Asha bhabhi pregnant with her second child but I never directly told my husband.

"Tara tu Veer se baat kar"

"Bhabhi wo mana karege"

"Tune abhi tak baat ki?"

Breaking the hug, I shake my head.

"Toh tujhe kaise pata" she says.

"Theek hai bhabhi" I reply convinced. I should talk to him about the baby.

We finish making the breakfast and serve it to everyone. I avoid making eye contact with my husband at any cost. Once he finishes his food, he holds my hand and takes me to the kitchen where no one is present.

"Royi hai tu?" He says holding my face and looking in my eyes.

"Nahi toh" I lie.

"Tara Sach bol!"

"Nahi royi mein. Bas pyaaz kata tha" I say removing his hands.

"Tara kuch toh hua hai"

"Kuch nahi hua"

"Ta-"

"Veer" Vijender bhaiya calls from outside.

"Aaya bhaiya" he shouts back and taking a last glance at me goes away. He knows me too well.

I will talk to him in the night, not right now. I have a good cry session in kitchen and them come out washing my face. I don’t have any appetite so I do not eat breakfast.

In the afternoon, Sanjay, Daksh, Jhanvi and Asha Bhabhi all cheer up my mood. I just can't help but look at Asha bhabhi and desire for my own child. My periods are three days late. I don't want my hopes up as it happens sometimes but I can't help it. I wish I am pregnant. Not because of the daily taunts of my mother in law but I want my child. A sweet little baby.

The whole day passes and Finally after dinner I find my courage to face my husband. I enter the room to find him pacing with a stoic expression on his face. I close the door and stand in front of him .

"Ji suniye"

"Haan?" He says looking at me. His eyes never leaving mine.

"Wo.. wo.." I try to find the right words. He waits patiently for me to speak.

"Mujhe humara baccha chahiye" I finally say. He smiles in response.

"Accha?"

"Ji"

"Thode samay baad sochte hai"

"Nahi!"

"Tara abhi humari umar hi kya hai. Poori zindagi hai" he says coming near me.

"Aap samajh kyu nahi rahe?"

"Tara yahi toh kaha mene ki thode samay baad"

"Ek saal hogaya hai humari shaadi ko!" I say frustrated.

"Aur poori zindagi baaki hai"

"Aap... aap samajhte kyu nahi?"

"Tara"

"Apko koi kuch nahi kehta na isiliye aap itne aaram se bol rahe hai" I say choking on my words, on verge of crying. I am trying so hard to make him understand. Why is he so adamant?

"Matlab?" His mood immediately changes. The frown reappears on his face.

"Aapke 'thodi Der baad' ke Karan banjh bolte hai log mujhe" a tear slips through my eyes.

"KISNE KAHA YEH!" He shouts and I look at him with wide eyes. He has a murderous expression on his face.

"Kisine nahi. Aise hi boldia mene" I say backing away from him.

"Tara" he says taking a step forward towards me. He holds me by my biceps. His grip is almost painful at this moment.

"Bol Tara!"

Author's note: Happy Diwali Everyone!!!! 💫💞🕺🤪 . I hope you all have an amazing day!! 🫶