helluva girlboss

short 2: mission: weaboo-boo

[A/N: Emberlynn gives me straight vibes (I doubt she's into girls), so that's why she's asking to be Blitza's friend instead of flirting.

Also I hate-love Emberlynn's character so much cuz she's like me, but only the most ANNOYING parts of me. It's a real hate-love relationship over here. And I do believe this might be vivziepop's way of lightheartedly making fun of herself lol]

"Lemme get this straight." Blitza said into her phone, twirling a lock of black hair around her finger as she spoke. "You want me to kill this Emberlynn Pinkle person because she wrote a super popular fanfiction about some anime dude called Shawnathan dating his stepsister Scribbleson 7 years ago???"

"Yeah, did I stutter?" The girl on the other end asked. "I KNOW it's not real incest, but—"

"Babe, you do realize these anime characters themselves aren't real, right? They're not even real people, never mind if a ship between them is "real incest". Goodness gracious, y'all have to get out and touch grass once in a while! You live in a fantasy world!"

The girl growled in rage. "Look, do you want the dough or not?"

"I think you should pay me double for doing a job as stupid as this."

"Fuck it, fine, I'll pay ya double. Now get your ass into gear and kill that incest-shipper!" She yelled before hanging up.

Blitza personally didn't see why you have to put a hit on someone just for writing a fanfiction that became more popular than yours while being about a ship you hate, and also this happened SEVEN years ago. But she's loyal to her job, so she went to Rockview USA and found the house. Millie called her when she got there.

"Hey, ma'am, sure you don't need help with this one?"

"Yeah, I don't need help. She's just a suburban college girl."

"But targets fight back sometimes!" Millie insisted. "And sometimes they can—"

"Millie, go enjoy that bullshit musical and stop tryin' to use me as an excuse to get out of it!" Blitza said. "If I had to sit through that miserable French hog shit then so do you!"

"Millieeeeee, come on, the auditorium is opening!" Moxxie squealed excitedly.

Blitza chuckled as she imagined how irritated Millie must be, but obviously she'd hide it behind a smile for her husband's sake. "Bye, Mils!"

Blitza went to the window and saw a couple watching TV together. The woman looked older than 25, and she didn't match the description of the target, so this was probably the target's mother or something. The imp woman scaled a tree and looked into the upstairs window, where a girl was watching something on a computer with cat-ear headphones. This one had pastel blue hair and looked around 25, so it's probably Emberlynn.

Blitza came into the room and snuck over to Emberlynn. It was easy-peasy, as her headphones stopped her from even hearing Blitza approach.

"I like killing, shooting things, I'll use a saw, I'll use a fork too!~ Da dun, dada. I like killing with any kind of weapon, give me a knife and I'll kill someone and today it's gonna be a stupid bitch!~" She sang softly.

She tried to stab Emberlynn but a forcefield knocked her backwards. She landed hard on her butt with a grunt. "Oof! Hey, what the fuck?!"

Emberlynn fell over, the headphones tumbling off her ears, and turned around.

"Oh." she said, putting her hands on her cheeks and her eyes widening in interest. "Ohhhh."

Downstairs, Mr. and Mrs. Pinkle heard the noise.