helluva girlboss

s1e3 bonus (blitza and lunar talk about verosika and vortex)

At the I.M.P. building, Moxxie and Millie were sitting in the other room and doing work. While Blitza was sorting through some clients' assassination orders and planning when exactly they'd get them done, she found it impossible to focus as she kept thinking about how she and Lunar butted heads at the beach. So she went over to the receptionist desk, where Lunar was napping with his head resting in his arms.

She lightly knocked her fist on his head. "Hey, wake up,"

"Hmm?" Lunar lifted his head and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes. "Oh, sorry, Blitza. Didn't mean to fall asleep on the job. It's just that seducing all those whores on the beach tuckered me out."

"Yeah, no, I didn't come to berate you about that. I just wanted to ask you about what happened on the beach."

"With the girls I seduced?"

"No, with that hellhound dude you were flirting with!" Blitza poked her son's arm, grinning. "Sooooo how was it? Did you get his number? Did he add you on Sinstagram? Do you already have a date planned with him~?"

Lunar's expression soured just a little. "I... he's already dating somebody."

"Oh." Blitza said, shoulders slumping. "Guess that's not a surprise though. He was super hot, no wonder someone already snatched him up."

"Yeah." Lunar agreed, his eyes glued to the floor as he remembered the dismay he'd felt when Vortex had mentioned his girlfriend Bee. "Well, I'm just glad at least I found out in a way that's not too humiliating. At least I didn't ask him out or anything and then he laughed in my face and told me he's taken. Anyway, I gave him my number and said he'd ring me if there was a party."

"Wait, he invited you to party with him?"

"In a platonic way."

"Fuck, so you got friendzoned?"

Lunar sighed heavily, his ears drooping. "Guess I did."

"No no, it's fine!" Blitza said, realizing she was making him feel worse. She slid into the chair next to his. "There's tons of other hounds out there you'll be able to bag! But preferably ones who don't work for one of my exes."

Lunar drummed his fingers on his desk, wanting really badly to ask something but not sure how Blitza would feel about it. "So, you don't have to answer this if you don't want to, but what happened between you and Verosika Mayday? Judging by what she said, you broke up with her. How the fuck did you pass up the oppurtunity to be with a girl like her?"

Blitza sighed. "So, one night me and Verosika went to a crazy party together, and we got drunk off our asses and covered in glitter from some genius thinking it's funny to set off glitter bombs everywhere. We were both too drunk to drive home, so we checked into a nearby hotel. We took a shower to wash the glitter off each other, and to fuck in the shower of course. Then when I helped her into her pyjamas and tucked her into bed, she grabbed my wrist and said, 'Blitza, I love you'. And I... I didn't know what to do."

Blitza paused the story for a second as she remembered Verosika's face when she'd said those 4 words. Heavily drunk, but that might've been the most vulnerable and honest she had ever seen the succubus be.

"I slept next to her because I was dead tired, but the next morning I woke up before she did, and I couldn't stop thinking about what she'd said. So far our relationship had been nothing but carefree parties and fun, nothing serious. Even when she tattooed my name on her arm it didn't feel serious! It terrified me to think I was with someone who loved me, and who I might be loving in return. I didn't even have room to feel guilty because I was so terrified. So I got in my car and left."

"With her credit card." Lunar added flatly.

Blitza finger-flicked him in the face. "Yes, with her credit card. But she really did say she didn't mind paying for my horse lessons before!" She sighed. "Anyway, I don't really regret breaking up with her because if I didn't... I would never have met you. The only reason I wanted to adopt a kid was because I was so sad and lonely after our break-up. Adopting you cured that loneliness in me, Lunie. That's why I'm so happy I did it, even if sometimes you wish I hadn't done it."

At the mention of how she adopted him, Lunar felt a stab of guilt.

"I've been meaning to tell you, about the way I acted earlier... You were right, I was being an ungrateful shitbag. I don't actually wish you didn't adopt me, Mom. Me and every other orphan always wished to be adopted from the moment we arrive at the shelter, so obviously I'm grateful you finally came along."

Blitza leapt from her chair, hugged him and gave him a merciless noogie. Lunar huffed and looked away, pretending to be annoyed, but Blitza wasn't blind. She could see that smile on his face.