Falling for the Fire

Chapter 50

*Brooklyn's POV

We had to walk a while to find a quiet corner of the park, but we eventually did. My nerves were heightened again, but I knew that I needed to do this.

We sat down on a bench and Ari looked at me expectantly.

"So..." she trailed off.

"Right," I nodded, "okay well, I've had feelings for you for a while now, but I've been trying to push them away, and push you away, and I'm really sorry for that."

"I don't get why you'd do that," she responded with a questioning look on her face.

This was the part that was going to be the hardest.

"I - okay this isn't - I never really talk about this," I stammered, "so bear with me please."

She nodded silently as I cleared my throat.

"I told you that my dad died in a car accident," I started.

"Right..." she said.

"I, well he - I was dating someone at the time, and it had gotten pretty serious," I told her, trying not to stumble over my words.

"I really wanted my parents to meet her, and my dad was at some work event and was supposed to be meeting us at this restaurant," I continued.

"There was...there was a really bad snow storm, and - " I had to pause for a moment to regain my composure.

I pushed away the tears that were threatening to fall as I felt Ariana's hand on my thigh. I looked up at her and she gave me a soft, comforting smile, and I kept going.

"He tried to tell me that he just needed to stay where he was at because he shouldn't be driving with the weather as bad as it was," I said, "but - I mean I - I got really upset with him and tried to push him to come."

I sighed as I felt the lump in my throat, and I did my best to fend it off.

"Brooklyn, you don't have to..." she started, like she knew exactly where I was going with this.

I wanted to stop, but I knew that I needed to finish getting this out if I had any hope of things working between Ari and I.

"He - he said he was only going to come and meet us because it was so important to me," I said shakily, "and if I liked someone this much then he must need to meet her."

"And then he um," I continued, "he got into the accident like...five fucking minutes from the restaurant, that's all it took."

I felt a tear fall down my cheek, and as much as I hated to let Ari see me like this, I knew that I couldn't stop them now.

"So you," she started hesitantly, "you haven't dated anyone since then I'm assuming."

I shook my head as I wiped the tear away from my face.

"How could I?" I asked, "me being in a relationship is what caused all of this to happen, it's - it's my fault."

Ari reached over and grabbed my hand that was shakily sitting in my lap, and she squeezed it tightly.

"I don't think -" she started to say something else, but I cut her off.

I knew what was coming, it was exactly what everyone else had tried to tell me.

"Don't," I said, "please don't try to tell me that it's not my fault."

"Sorry," she mumbled.

"This is why I said I didn't deserve someone like you," I told her, "it wasn't just some dumb excuse."

"I don't - I haven't felt like I could get close to anyone since then," I continued, "because I don't feel like I deserve to after what I did."

"Brooklyn," she said quietly, "yes you do, I don't think anyone can fault you for wanting your dad to meet someone that you really liked."

She rubbed her thumb back and forth over my hand, trying to comfort me as I held back more tears.

"Well I haven't - haven't been able to feel that way since everything happened," I muttered, "until I..."

I trailed off again, still struggling to find the words to explain to her how I was feeling.

Ariana reached over and took my chin in her hand, turning me to face her. She leaned in and pressed a slow kiss to my lips as I closed my eyes and sighed against her.

"Thank you for telling me," she said quietly as she kept her forehead leaning against mine.

I nodded slightly as we sat there in silence for a moment, and the relief washed over me.

I eventually sat back, and Ariana kept my hand in hers.

"I'm sorry for not telling you sooner," I said, "and for pushing you away like I did."

"No, it's okay," she said as she shook her head, "it makes a lot more sense now."

"Good," I responded as I let out a sigh of relief.

"And I'm - well I might not be very good at the whole relationship thing," I continued, "it's still a little difficult for me...obviously."

"Brooklyn it's okay," she laughed, "I promise, I'm just glad that I wasn't imagining anything between us."

"No, you definitely weren't," I told her, "I could tell that there was something there quite a while ago honestly, I just wasn't sure how to deal with it."

"Not how I did of course," I continued, "I realize that now."

"Yeah...probably not," she grinned.

"But now you're allowed to stay over whenever you want," I teased as I wiggled my eyebrows at her.

"Oh wow, I am?" She questioned, pretending to be shocked.

"Yes," I grinned, leaning in to kiss her again, "and please do."

"I will, don't worry," she said.

Our lips pressed gently together, and my eyes fluttered shut as the warmth spread throughout my body. When we both pulled away, I looked over at her and couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

"This is going to make me sound cheesy as hell," I started, "but I - I haven't even wanted to try and be with someone again, until we - until I got to know you."

"You're right," she said, "that is cheesy, but it's also adorable."

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