Dreams Just Might Come True

Flashback

The guy had said he was crazy for her. What ever happened to, "I love you forever." Anna scowled as she let the thoughts whirl around in her brain. Many pictures of the man she had thought she truly loved flashed in front of her eyes. As the memories circled her brain, she smiled at some and wanted to cry at others. She did not know why she even bothered to smile at some. They were all bad memories and she knew it. She should not try to trick herself into thinking otherwise. It was just a mind game. If there was one thing she hated most, it was a mind game. Her mind was her worst enemy, and every experience like this made it worst. The past continued to activate her mind, making her angrier and angrier. The anger came in waves. She was fuming by the time she decided to jump up from the place she was sitting. There was no use thinking back upon it. These flashbacks did not need to get the best of her.

The previous relationship was over. There was nothing she could do about it. It was done. She was now alone in the world, left with her mind. Being left alone to wrestle with her mind was the worst idea ever. She had to try to get over this. She had to figure things out herself without anyone there to help, support, comfort her, or even try to protect her. It all seemed so useless. It was time to move on. She felt like it was hopeless to even try, but besides suicide, that was her only option. Anna did not believe in love anymore. She told herself that she will never believe in love again.

No more talking nicely to a guy. No more sitting in the moonlight dreaming about the future. No more holding hands. No more hugging. No more kissing. No more comforting touches. No more cuddling. She had really enjoyed cuddling so this was one of the worst consequences of the relationship so far. Worst of all though- No more love! Dreams flew away with the wind. Dreams do not come true for her anymore. No more love ever again.

Wow, that was a hard realization. She paced up and down the little porch overlooking the ocean. Why did she have to live in such a romantic place? This was the worst setting when she did not even want to think about love anymore. It wasn't fair. It sure wasn't fair to her mind or her well-being, at all. She had to find something else to do, other than let her mind continue to mess with her. She decided to go for a walk.

The walk was not the best help because she had many memories with him on the sandy beaches. Anna remembers many times of playing in the sand. There were sand wars and even though they were messy, they were a great way to show love. There were times when they would draw hearts with a stick with their initials in the middle, and there were all the nice things they would say to each other as they had walked, holding hands and looking into each other's eyes. Anna remembered she would always reach into her pockets right before nice talk was exchanged between them. One of the nice conversations she remembers was filling his pockets with sand and saying that she loved him more than the number of the grains of sand on the whole beach, and much more than the weight of the sand in his pocket. He had smiled and nodded at the kindness of her compliment at the time. She had never known what to think of the nods at the time. She had thought it was just a guy's way of expression. She had thought it was true love. Now she knew better. It was definitely not true love. She knew that for sure.

Anna was done with her walk. It sure was not helping. She sat on a rock for a little while as silly thoughts drifted in and out of her mind. Just a few more thoughts skittered through her brain. Then, she was done thinking. She was done moving and done living. She continued walking back home. It felt like a long walk for she was dragging her feet all the way. A &C- Just the thought of the initials that had once been, made depression start to swallow her even more. It made her sick to her stomach. Call it what you want, but she was lovesick.

She could not wallow in the negative feelings. Anna knew what she needed to do. She needed to snap out of it. Conner was a jerk, plain and simple. He had never deserved her love and devotion in the first place. What was her problem? She did not care about what would happen to him in the future anymore. He was out of her life for good. She hoped any guys were gone for that matter. The only hope she had left was negative hope.Trust was broken.It was going to be a long road ahead. She would probably never heal.

Yet, it was time to move forward with life. She was absolutely tired of looking back. Maybe she would pursue something great and go back to college. She loved the cabin she was in but new surroundings were calling. It was the only way out of her depression. Can she be healed? The scar will be forever. Can it at least be patched up though?