Modest Kisses

Chapter Five.

Ahmid's Pov.

The wedding was over a long time ago, but I was still roaming the town of Mumbai, looking for the best jeweler shops. I needed a ring for Safa. Yousef who was supposed to be helping me, was already asleep by the passenger seat. I couldn't find myself to wake him, he was definitely exhausted.

I parked my car in the parking lot of yet another shop, silently making du'a that this should be the last shop I needed to go to. I was tired.

The doorman welcomed me in, thinking of it, I could just buy her a ring from Tiffany's when we get back, but I couldn't wait. I wanted to make her happy after seeing how sad she was when I told her we would be leaving tomorrow.

"Good evening sir, I could lead you to where you get the best of what you require, if you tell me what you want," a gentleman said to me.

"I need a wedding ring," I replied.

"What is your price range sir?"

"I need the best quality, price aside," I said. His eyes bulged out as he gave me a smile.

"Over here sir, please have your seat, I would be back in a jiffy," he said leading me to a plush cushion. I sank in, heaving a sigh of contentment. And true to his word, he was back almost immediately.

"Here are the best sir, we have them in gold, diamond, opal, topaz and peridot," he said. I wasn't even paying attention to him. My attention was on a particular diamond ring, round and exquisite.

"I want that," I said, cutting him of his yada yada. I pointed at it.

"That is definitely the best amongst them, I would have it packaged sir, if you would please leave your address, we would have it sent first thing tomorrow morning," he replied, his grin from one ear to another.

I handed him my black card, and wrote down my hotel's address and my room number. He returned my card shortly after, heading to my car, I drove off to a good night's rest.

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The ring woke me up, when the delivery guy knocked on the door. It even looked more exquisite than it looked the other night. Gazing at it, I wanted to make this marriage work out. I wanted her to wear my ring. I wanted to see how it looked on her hand. Above all, I wanted to tell her truth, and just like all untold truths it pricked my conscience. I haven't been able to do anything without picturing her face when she hears the truth. How would she react?

To be honest, if I were in her shoes, I would loath me and feel utterly betrayed. But upon all the relentlessness I showed regarding this marriage, something, somewhere inside of me wanted to be married, wanted to know what it felt like. Wanted the support, blessing and comfort only a spouse could provide. And it only worsened when I saw Safa. I wasn't in love with her, but I was attracted to her, I admired her, and I wanted her In my life. I only prayed Allah makes her the best for me.

If I were a decent man, I would have told her before our vows, but I wasn't decent. I was selfish and self centered. And I hope she forgives that.

We were on our way to the airport. Safa has been too quiet for my liking. It only made situation worse because here I was thinking of the best time to tell her the truth, no matter how bitter it was, I wanted her to know it before the marriage started, if she chose to stay with me, it won't be because I forced her, but because she wanted to. I didn't even want to think of how it would be if she chose the former.

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The ring seemed too heavy for my breast pocket, where it laid. It rested above my heart reminding me of the secret I was keeping from her. I tried to concentrate on anything, anything at all, I wouldn't mind. I was successfully getting there, that was before I heard her silently wiping. And all hell broke loose.