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i heard a familiar voice behind me as i walk down the stairs from my dorm. i turn round and see her. it's y/n. what is she doing only coming out of her dorm this late? she usually gets down to the great hall before i do.
,,i had a really bad sleep, you're only just come out too!" she explains.
,,yeah but i always sleep in late. you never." i reply.
i help her down the last step and hold her hand. her hands are always cold. cold hands warm heart i thought. i wonder if my hands are ever cold.
we walk to the great hall together and students already start to leave. we walk to potions together.
me and y/n have become close these past couple of weeks. i've enjoyed every second with her. — professor slughorn asks me to reveal what my amortenia smells of.
why me? why do i have to say what mine smells like. stupid old man.
i finally take a sniff of the potion. it's a rather familiar smell. i'm used to being round the person. as soon as i come to my senses, i realise who i smell.
it's y/n. i'm...i'm in love with her. — people move around when we listen to professor and i see y/n in my peripheral view. she moves closer to me and our shoulders almost touch. i appreciate the small actions that she probably doesn't even notice of. it's like little fireworks being set off — after potions, it's break and i go outside with my mates. i don't really pay attention to them when they speak to me. crab and goyle are too thick in their heads to even realise reality and pansy is annoying, the only decent friends i've got is blaise and theo, although theo doesn't go to hogwarts, he goes to durmstrang institute. i only know him because he's a pureblood too and my stuck up parents are friends with his. y/n of course is one of my friends, in fact, she's more than just a decent friend. part of me wants to make her more than friends, the other part of me is worried that she might not feel the same. i want to find her. i have a place that i must show her, i want it to be our place.
after what feels like searching for her for ages, i finally find her. she's sitting so elegantly on a bench laughing and smiling with her friends. her smile is gorgeous. whenever she smiles, the image always gets stuck in my head and i feel myself smiling even at the most random times, all because i can see her smiling in my head. it's like she's the only person that exists, like it's me and her against the world.
i approach her and take her away from her friends. as we walk to the place, we talk and she calls me malfoy like always. i've always hated it that she calls me malfoy. i want her to call her by my first name. i correct her once when she speaks and she calls me draco for the first time. it's great. just to hear her sweet voice call me by my actual name instead of just a surname that is known for a family of trouble. we arrive at the place i wanted to show her and she seems like she loves it. this is basically the first time seeing it myself. i came here the other night to escape from a teacher when i was walking about the corridors at night and when i got to this place, it was dark. i heard the water running and i could vaguely see what the scene was.
it is a pretty place. with the trees, the plants, the flowers and the waterfall. it's not as pretty at her though. nothing is ever as beautiful as my y/n. i look at her, just to admire her beauty. she seems to notice and she looks at me. her vibrant eyes piercing through me. there's not a single feature on her face that i dislike. her eyes are gorgeous, her nose is perfect, her skin is glowy, and her lips. her lips. they looks so red and soft.
she breaks the eye contact after a while and she looks away. she looks flustered as she takes her cloak off and places it beside her.
her sweet voice makes the silence disappear. she asks who i smelt in the amortenia potion. i want to tell her it was her but i'm worried she might react badly. i just say i don't know and she thinks otherwise. suddenly, she places her hand on top of mine and tells me it's okay and i don't have to tell her. she's so thoughtful and kind. how could this girl get anymore perfect?
i've always had an eye for her ever since i stepped foot in hogwarts. she's always been the girl to catch my eye. __________________ its first year and we walk up the stairs to professor mcgonagall. y/n stands quite near me, and when professor stops talking, i walk up to her.
,,im malfoy. draco malfoy." i put a hand out to her.
,,im-" as she goes to shake my hand and tell me her name, her friend whom must be called hermione moves her away.
,,its not worth it y/n. he's a malfoy." hermione says to her.
so y/n is her name.
it hurts when her friend says that to her. 'i'm a malfoy'. so it's true that just a surname can get a bad idea in someone's head. they don't even know what i'm like. that made me hate her whole friend group especially that potter. __________________
___ that one night at the start of this third year, when i was at the astronomy tower and she came, i didn't mean to annoy her or raise my voice at her. i just wasn't in a great mood. before i got on the train to hogwarts, i got into an argument with my father. i hate him sometimes. i don't understand how he thinks of himself as a father when he doesn't show any love towards his son. i struggle, always having these thoughts in my head. lingering about in my mind, the voices of my parents telling me i'm not good enough. telling me to be more like them. i wasn't in a good mood at all at the tower. i felt so bad when she got annoyed at me and stormed off. i didn't mean to make her feel that way. a few days ago, when the slytherin party took place and she got wasted, i knew it was a good idea to take her somewhere quiet. i just wanted to be with her to be honest. when we woke up on the grass and it started raining, i couldn't help but just take her hand and dance with her. i wanted to stay with her forever in that moment. to just feel her. to hold her. when we were about to leave, i'm so glad my chained bracelet fell out of my pocket, because it was a good way to tell her to keep it since she was already holding it. i want her to be able to keep something and wear the thing and it to always remind her of me. i don't want her to ever forget me. i've grown to love y/n. these past few weeks i've gotten to actually spend time with her and be with her have been amazing. i've loved every second being in her presence. ___ she placed her hand of top of mine and reassured me it's okay if i don't want to tell her who i smelt in the potion, i really couldn't help but to hold her hand. to feel her skin, to feel her hand in mine.
,,y/n." i say her name. i want to tell her i love her but i can't. i mustn't.
i was worried that i was giving her too many hints i like her, even though i want her to know, something tells me i shouldn't and get nervous so i let go of her hand and advise we should leave.
she asked me why i called her name, and i asked her the question ive been thinking of for a while. "isn't it obvious?". she was completely confused...oblivious to what i meant. that frustrates me somehow. all these little signs and hints i give her and she still doesn't know that im in love with her.
i get up, leave her and shut the door on her behind me. i feel so bad. i'm just nervous. to make it up to her, i leave hogwarts and decide to go into town and get her a present.
