cigarettes after sex

you're the only good thing in my life

'everything is wrong but it's alright. you're the only good thing in my life.'

✩₊˚🧸.⋆☾⋆⁺₊💤✧

bold is sign language.

jisung tapped minho gently on the shoulder to get his attention.

it was late evening and the boys were on the sofa watching a film that neither really cared about.

after the days events, the two decided they should just relax instead of going out.

minho lowered the volume on the tv and faced jisung, giving him all his attention.

"i want to tell you about my ex." the boy signed with trembling hands.

minho took the younger's hand in his, giving it a small squeeze of reassurance, "i know it's a sensitive topic so please don't feel forced to tell me, i'll wait until you're ready." minho kissed the back of his hand sweetly.

"it's okay, i think you should know." jisung gave the older a small, slightly unsure smile.

he knew that he would never fully be ready to tell him. he felt the same when he had to tell his friends, but in the end, he knew that he would feel better and safer with the older knowing the full story.

"if you want to stop and feel you're not ready then don't feel pressured to carry on talking." jisung nodded and gave him a small "thank you" in response.

"so, i met this guy when i was fifteen and he was so sweet to me, he would always take care of me and he would never pressure me into anything i wasn't comfortable with." he took a deep breath to try and calm his breathing and stop his tears from falling.

minho moved his hand from gently massaging his thigh to wiping a way the few stray tears that fell. jisung smiled at him thankfully.

"we'd been dating for about a year, so i was sixteen, and he started forcing me to do things. he would make me go drinking when i wasn't comfortable with it, he forced me to smoke with him, and he..." minho squeezed his knee for reassurance and lightly kissed his head.

"he made me go clubbing with him, but he would let other people do things that i wasn't okay with. i would ask him to help and to make them stop, but he just said i deserved it." jisung let tears fall as he cuddled himself closer to minho while still making sure the older could see what he was signing.

"baby, shh, take a deep breath, hm? nice and big." he demonstrated and allowed jisung to follow, helping the boy calm down his anxiety.

the older wanted to find this guy and beat the absolute shit out of him. he was enraged, but he put that anger aside because he knew that jisung needed him and that was more important.

"he said that if i pushed them away then i didn't love him anymore." he wiped his eyes with his sleeves and sniffed a little.

minho's eyes went wide, he lifted his hand up to caress jisung's hair, pulling him closer to his body, making him sit on his lap, as if to protect him.

jisung carried on, taking a large breath as minho caressed his waist softly.

"then he started to hit me." jisung let a sob rattle his body a little as his hands trembled and he moved to grasp minho's shirt to try and ground himself.

"shh, shh, it's okay, you don't have to tell me anymore." minho pulled jisung closer, placing his head in the crook of his neck, pressing a kiss against jisung's head, and then his temple and then his cheek.

jisung lifted his head off the crook of minho's shoulder and looked at him. minho wiped his eyes delicately and kissed both his eyelids.

"the tattoo symbolises my survival..."

"i think it's beautiful." minho tilted jisung's head to the side and traced the lines of the tattoo lightly, as if if he pressed too hard, jisung would shatter.

"do you think i'm broken?" jisung asked when minho finally looked away from his tattoo, jisung gazed up at minho with large glossy eyes.

"i think you're healing." minho pressed a kiss to the side of jisung's lips.

"thank you for telling me." he smiled and brushed a piece of hair out of the boys eyes.

jisung yawned, exhausted after all the crying, feeling emotionally drained.

minho tucked jisung into him, letting him sleep against his chest.

"goodnight darling." he laced his fingers into jisung's hair and pressed a delicate kiss on his head as he turned up the volume of the tv, carrying on watching the show while letting his hands pass calmly through jisung's hair, massaging his scalp and playing with the strands every now and then.