Caterina spent her whole life being underlooked and misunderstood.
Hatice spent her whole teenage years chasing a man who loved another.
But Hüsniye became more than a pawn. She became a queen. She conquered the heart of the Ottoman Sultan, the hear...
It was late at night when Şehzade Murad asked me to leave for my new room. Despite all we had shared, he wouldn't let me stay until morning. It stung, but I nodded and left without question, hiding my disappointment.
My new room... No more sleeping on the floor with the other girls. I had my own space now, a soft mattress, and even clothes tailored just for me. Not even in my past life as Caterina had I ever had something that felt so entirely my own.
Oh, Caterina... I would be lying if I said I didn't think about my old life. Sometimes, I missed the scent of the sea, the warmth of Italian words, my siblings, and our library at home. That library had been my refuge, where I learned five languages, hid from my father's temper, and argued with my mother as she scolded me for filling my mind with ideas "not proper for a lady." But it was all a lie—who's to say what makes a lady, anyway?
Just then, Şemsirushar's head popped out of her bedroom, startling me. "Thank Allah! I thought he might keep you all night."
"You knew about this?" I whispered, careful not to wake the others. She nodded, motioning me inside. Her room was cosy, lit by an aromatic candle as she unpacked her gifts.
"He didn't let me stay either," she confessed softly, as if it were a shared secret.
"Why not? Did we do something wrong?"
Şemsirushar sighed, a mix of sadness and resignation. "I asked him once if he does the same with Safiye... and he only repeated himself, more forcefully."
I let out a small, disappointed oh, sinking down as I looked at my hands. "Maybe... the only thing we did wrong was not being her." My words hung heavy between us. "He may want us, but Safiye is the one he loves."
‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙
A few days later, I learned that Defne would be my roommate. We'd grown close—we had so much in common. Both of us were trained by a member of the royal family who closely monitored our every move, checking constantly if we were with a child. Nurbanu watched over me, and Şah Sultan kept an eye on Defne. They even sent us beautiful gifts. I was especially excited about the new dresses.
My favourites were the green ones that matched my eyes in the sunlight. I kept only the dresses and a necklace for myself, then called Gülbahar, Raziye, and Nadya to my room to share the rest.
"Well, well! Look at you, our important lady!" teased Gülbahar, her auburn hair catching the light. "Or should I call you Sultana?"
"Oh, don't be ridiculous! I'm just me. Nowhere near a sultana!" I laughed, waving them over to sit on my bed.
"I have gifts for you," I said, lifting the box.
"Gifts?" Raziye and Gülbahar exchanged curious glances, while Nadya's eyes sparkled with excitement. She picked up a necklace, too large for her small neck, and we all laughed at how endearing she looked.
"You're my friends," I explained. "This is my way of thanking you."
Gülbahar and Raziye pulled me into a hug as Nadya clutched an armful of jewellery. She looked at me, her eyes wide with wonder. "Why do you have a new room? Will I get a room like this one day?"
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I exchanged a glance with the others, unsure how to answer. "Raziye, help Nadya with her new treasures," I said, smiling at the sight of her tiny hands holding so much. "Gülbahar, could you come with me? I need to speak with Nurbanu."
The Greek girl nodded, and we made our way to Nurbanu's quarters. At the entrance, Canfeda met us with a raised eyebrow as we bowed. "Is she expecting you?"
I shook my head. "No, but I hoped she might have a moment. It's not urgent, of course. But I would really appreciate it if she could"
After a moment's consideration, Canfeda slipped into the room, returning shortly to wave me in. We bowed before Nurbanu, waiting for her permission to speak. I explained the situation with Nadya, how I felt Allah had placed her in my care, and asked if she could serve me as a maid rather than be considered as a concubine. Hearing she was only eight, Nurbanu agreed.
"She will need a new name," Nurbanu added.
"Yes, Your Highness."
She studied me, then nodded. "I'll let you choose it."
Overjoyed, I kissed the hem of her dress and hurried back to my room. "Nadya," I called to her gently. "Remember when you asked me if I liked my new name?"
"Yeah. I don't like it," she replied bluntly, making my friends chuckle. Allah, I was going to name her Hatice as well...
"Why do you like your name?"
"Because it starts with N, like my mom's name." Her expression softened as she thought of home. "I miss everything. Especially the little flowers by the river near our house. I always wanted to bring them inside, but my dad said they needed to stay in their home to be happy."
I smiled, my heart swelling. "Then, from now on, you will be Nilüfer, which means 'water lily'—a flower that blooms best near water, in its own place."
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And I thought that this was going to be a short chapter 🫣
Not gonna lie, Nilüfer was never in my plans but I adore her so much, she's the cutest 🪷
